Tag: bad

Bullies

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Bullies

Sometimes in life you will encounter a person in power and they will be more or less a bully. I’ve been in situations where I’ve had bosses or supervisors that no matter what I’ve done or tried to do, nothing was ever good enough. I think we’ve all encountered people in our professional lives that just made the work experience near unbearable. A friend recently told me, “you don’t quit jobs, you quit managers.” I had never thought of leaving a job like that before. When I put a little thought into it, I realize that most of the time when I have not liked a job, it turned out to be the boss that made it the worst.

The Devil is a bully. He will push you, lie to you, and attempt to break you. The Devil hates you for all that you are. Isn’t it wonderful though that we have a God that loves us for who we are? We never have to work for that love. We’re not judged with how much we work, or how many brownie points we can get. God is fully aware of what’s in our heart and our motives. It’s the love that matters.

When you encounter a bully in your life there are millions of ways people will tell you to handle them. In my own life I have heard the, ‘just ignore them.’ Advice. I have heard the, ‘make fun of yourself right along with the bully,’. I have heard ‘stand up for yourself, by any means necessary.’ While each one of these is very popular, I would suggest turning to the bible to find your true good advice Matthew 5:43-48“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers,[a] what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” We cannot allow ourselves to loose sight of God. We must not allow ourselves to succumb to the darkness. Anger, and hate lead to the dark side. We must stand firm. We must never loose control in anger. 2 Timothy 1:7“7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

It’s easy to get wrapped up in our anger and that anger can blind us to the path that’s best for us. That anger and rage that can bubble up from years of torment, or physiological torture, can be hard to control. We must never set out to find our own vengeance though. Violence always begets violence. We cannot expect to change the world by physical means. Romans 12:19-20 “19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it[a] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” If your bully attacks you, ask if you can pray for them. If they attack you, ask if everything’s okay at home. Bullies often have misguided anger or rage. Do not hate the bully nor pass judgment upon them. We never know someone’s circumstances, and while it never excuses their actions, it may provide some incite. Generally, hurting people hurt others. We cannot allow ourselves to let our tormentors to breach our heart with hate. We must not allow hate to take route in our souls. 1 John 2:9 “Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.”

We must stand firm on love. Let love be our war cry and in everything we do, and everything we experience trust in the Lord to save you, and pull you through. Psalm 18:3 I ” call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” We have to trust in the Lord to deliver us from evil. There will always be bullies for as long as there is anger and hate in this world. Bullies feel the need to be in power. Bullies feel the need to be in control and those in control often feel they have to force their subordinates into submission. Matthew 5:38-41“I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” The bullies we have will beat you and hurt you emotionally. They will continue to try to break you down and look forward to seeing you breaking.

We have all encountered these people in our lives. Many have experienced bullying in school, and some in the adult world. Those difficult people are everywhere and in our struggle we must pray to be delivered from the hands of the enemy. Psalm 82:4 “Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” No matter the trials that befall you, you get back up and never let your own worth reside by the hands of your enemies. We must remain strong, and trust that we are worth more then what others can make us feel. Proverbs 24:16“for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.” We must always get back up. We know that for every fall we rise in strength, and we can be stronger then before if we learn a lesion with each fall. Finally I will say do not attack your attacker. We must learn and I must reiterate the importance to not attack your attacker. I am not saying do not defend yourself in the event there is a physical altercation, but what I am saying is never attack out of anger. If you are being physically assaulted you should leave that situation and find help, or defend yourself and at the first chance remove yourself from your situation and again go find help. Stand firm in your faith and with love and compassion live your life. 1 Peter 3:8-9“8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.”

Tough Changes

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Tough Changes

Have you ever been in a situation where you dreaded to face changes? I recently experienced the need to change my cell phone case. It wasn’t allowing me to use the functions as they should have been and it became more of an inconvenience then the protection it added. I think tough changes are hard for many people to go through. Changes at your job can be tough, and stressful. Changing schools can be tough for many. Moving out of your parents house and getting your own place can be an incredibly hard change to go through. All of these things are easy or difficult depending on each individual person. While for each situation everyone’s reaction is drastically different, and while some love change, and others loath it, one of the biggest things to change is our actions.

A popular saying is “some people never change.” Another popular saying is “once a cheater, always a cheater.” While both of these are very popular, how true do you personally think these sayings are? From my personal experience I believe they are right on the money. I think the hardest thing we will ever do is change our personality to change our actions. I’ve always said humanity would never change without a major outside force. I always figured a global extinction event such as asteroid, or drought, or contagion would be the most likely just behind nuclear war. Alien invasion (less likely) could potentially bring humanity together to face a common enemy. That being said, most people do not change without something big, and life changing occurring within their life or someone very close to them. Cancer, or a near death accident has a way to change someone’s perspectives. While we often see a spiritual change in some during these times, it doesn’t always stick. The biggest change most will ever experience is the coming to the savior Jesus Christ. It’s the change in the heart that can change a man completely.

Romans 12:1-2“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” In the Lord we are born anew. In the Holy Spirit the soul is reborn in fire. When the Lord takes hold of our hearts, we cannot not be changed. We must push forward in the Lord and we must face that like the Phoenix, we are reborn in the burning fires of the Lord, and in our new selves we are compelled to repulse the desire of the sinful flesh. 2 Corinthians 5:17“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

Change isn’t always easy, and even when you begin the following of the Lord, change isn’t always easy even after choosing the Lord. In our struggles though we should turn to our siblings in Christ and ask for them to help keep us accountable and true. We grow and we sprout from seeds in Christ and grow into a wonderful flower. The beauty in this world is only limited by our own stubborn selves. We often want to stay in our struggles because we are unwilling to change our own actions. We must change our lifestyles if we are ever expecting to change our own lives. I have watched my life grow and change in my financial walk with the Lord, my spiritual walk with my God, and even how I treat my friends. While life is full of tough challenges, changing our hearts to follow the Lord, and living in love, and denouncing hate shouldn’t be so hard, but the draw of sin is strong. Keep your faith, and keep your eyes on Jesus and always strive to change yourself to better please the Lord to what we see in scripture. Never give up hope on those around you who may be stuck in sin, and who don’t treat others with respect or love. It

Who Are You?

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Who Are You?

I’ve been putting a lot of thought into labels. “Please Lord Help Me Get One More!” (Pvt Doss) Who are we in the Lord? I have gone one day after another moving through life, and from one day to the next I have gone from one label to the next. I have searched for my place in this world, and growing up I felt lonely. I felt hallow year after year. As time went on I would find myself in labels. I became a vice president of SADD, a boyfriend, an actor, and as time went on a soldier, and a veteran, and a husband. One by one those labels would pass away into memory and would no longer hold any significance in my life. As time moved on and as one by one the label that once defined me became meaningless, just a memory. After my first divorce I never imagined I would ever have to go through that kind of pain or suffering again. As I fell in love and moved towards marriage again, I trusted I wouldn’t be forced to relive that kind of pain. The label I most relate to now, is broken. I’m a two time divorced thirty something year old man, physically broken, emotionally broken, and in between my own moments of clarity, a reminder of how fragile that peace truly is. A lie here, a deceit there, and a broken heart, a hole ripped open and not filled. A wound that heals, and before it’s done, it’s ripped open again. So, who am I, the truth, I don’t know. I don’t honestly know who I am anymore. I’ve been in this fire, this crucible for so long now I don’t know how to get out.

I’ve struggled a long time with heartbreak; I have struggled a long time with a point in time where I got stuck. Some days I feel like I’ve taken such great steps forward, and then without warning, I’m right back there. A record scratched unable to play through the song. I know my pain is real, and yet, I feel like I am weak because I haven’t been able to move forward and radically accept the world as it is, accept my new path, and accept to move forward. I pray daily to the Lord on high to take my pain away, but here I am, so many months later, crying, unable to face the pain I feel deep inside. I feel as if I will break apart over and over if I let myself go. I am afraid of myself, and I’m afraid of what my future might hold if I let the gates open.

The world isn’t a fair and just place. The world is governed by sin, led by the Devil to break us down, to push us and try to sway us away from God. What happens when we suffer in pain? What people go through is horrific, it’s unimaginable, it’s a struggle sometimes just to breath, but what is that pain really mean? Pain is the result of something upsetting the balance of our lives in a negative way. Pain is a change from our comfort forcing to manage an event that is horrible. What happens to people that causes pain is the work of evil. There is no promise to a pain free life. As long as there is free will in the world evil will find a way. Bad things happen to a lot of people, a lot of good people who perhaps the evil things happening is unfair, but we live in a world fallen from grace, and this life, for better or worse is our test. Evil exists in the world because free will allows us to follow our own path, and deviate from the path of God. God is with us every moment of every day in our walk, and yet, when the pain happens the emotions we feel is still very real. We cannot expect to turn them off and pretend like the traumas didn’t happen. There’s something we need to do, something we all must do in order to bring balance, to bring closure, and to move forward.

Who are we? We are men, women, children, fathers, and mothers. We are cooks, and poets, painters, and singers. Craftsman of all kinds whether it be of young minds as a teacher, or protectors of others as military, or police. Whatever we are as a profession, that’s not the label we should identify with. We are children of the king. We are sinners, and we are royalty to paradise. Some choose a path that does not include God. Some choose a path that includes a false idol. We are all judged equally at the foot of the cross, the very spot where blood was spilt to redeem us of our sinful nature. The blood that was spilt bridged the chasm that had existed for so long with a bridge of light and love. Jesus was the sacrifice for the world to break the chains that held us to damnation. I was asked recently how God could make Jesus die on the cross for our sins; God didn’t make anyone do anything. Free will has existed and if Jesus wanted to rule the world as an overlord, he could have. God was Jesus, and took the punishment for sins in a moment of divine separation from God to man. The blood spilt from the cross to the ground covered the earth and released us of the ramifications that sin forever separated the Father and us. Sin remains but we have the choice to follow Christ and allowing the Holy Spirit, which rose from death to cover the world in light. We were bought at a high price, a sacrifice from our father to take upon the punishment needed for sin, instead of having us take that punishment on ourselves. We would never be able to pay the debt needed to wipe away sin. Jesus Christ died for us, to give us a chance at paradise, but we have to make the choice ourselves. One thing with choice, and this may be the hardest thing we will ever do, forgive those who’ve hurt us. Forgive those who have brought pain like we wouldn’t believe is possible. Forgiveness is never excusing someone for his or her actions. It’s never absolving them of the justice that is due, but it brings balance to our hearts when we give up our own selves, and allow God to be the judge of the sinner not us. Sinners cannot judge other sinners. At the foot of the cross each of us is guilty, none of us is deserving of the grace and mercy that was bestowed upon us, but in that grace and mercy comes trust. We go through life with our pain, our struggles, and the only way for us to find true healing and peace is to give it up to God. We were never meant to carry such burdens in our lives and that’s why God wants us to come to him and give them to him. Forgiveness is the hardest thing some of us will ever have to do in our lives. Facing such deep pain, deep anger, deep resentment towards a person or people for the actions that have in some way hurt or wronged us is quite possibly the hardest thing a person can do. Forgiveness is about healing. It’s about finding closure and learning how to move forward with our lives. Vengeance is mine sayath the Lord. We cannot understand how one sin is just as bad as the next, and in our own pain we are faced with a choice, one that we must make every day, move forward with forgiveness in our hearts. “Nobody gets away with anything. Everything here has consequences.”(The Shack) “I’m not asking you to excuse what he did, I’m asking you to trust me to do what’s right, and to know what’s best… ‘then what’ ‘forgiveness doesn’t establish a relationship, it’s just about letting go of his throat.” We get stuck in our pain because we won’t, not because we can’t.

In our walk of forgiveness we don’t have to do it alone. Every day we must learn to say it out loud. We must look at our pain and focus on the grace of God and believe that God is working even in the midst of the worst tragedies of our lives. “I’m still angry.’ Of course you are, no one lets go all at once. You might have to do it a thousand times before it gets any easier, but it will.” (The Shack)

The who is a child of the King. We are blessed with a God who loves each and every one of us in an individual way. We are more then the failures we make, or the wrongs we have done. We are more then whatever labels we have put on ourselves, and we are more then the pain we’ve endured. Don’t let that pain keep your from experiencing love, and joy again. Don’t allow your anger and pain, and guilt to rob you of a life in the love of Christ and others. Find yourself in the grace and love of Jesus. In all things good, and bad, and ugly Jesus said he would always be with us. When we suffer, we do not suffer alone. This life is the test for eternal life. The saying goes, you only live once, and while that’s true, it’s in this life we make choice after choice that will determine where we spend it. Every tear I cry God holds my tears as He’s always by my side. When my strength is almost gone and I wonder how I will carry on, I know, I remember that God is with me, side by side. Though I can’t feel the hand of God, I trust that it’s on my shoulder when I cry alone in a dark room. Having faith when you are broken isn’t easy. Having faith that those who’ve wronged you will be dealt with by Abba, it’s hard to not turn our focus to vengeance. Philippians 3:14“14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” We are called to give ourselves freely to Jesus. We are called to love our neighbors and in that love we are connected.

Every day you wake up is a blessing and a gift. It’s an opportunity to go out into the world and share the good new of Christ with people you meet. Some days, you may wake up and the pain you feel makes your legs led weights and it’s all you can do to get out of bed. When those days happen, just remember that God has chosen you for a purpose. We are many things in this life, but the one that stands above the rest is a warrior for Christ. To be a Christian is to be a soldier for the Lord. As the Lord has chosen different people from all walks of life, it’s sometimes hard to accept that we of all people are chosen for the tasks God has set out for us, but as those before us, God equips us for the mission and we must trust in the Lord to see us through. Judges 6:14“And the Lord turned to him and said, “Go in this might of yours and save Israel from the hand of Midian; do not I send you?” The Lord chose a young man named Gideon and as it happens nearly every time, Gideon told God he’s got the wrong guy. Much like those before me, I have often said God had the wrong guy, that I was a nobody, I wasn’t fit to fill this position, but God sees the whole picture, while we only see a small puzzle piece. We are to inherit the royal kingdom of Heaven, so we are groomed from conception to be a champion.

Never stop believing in yourself. Never stop trusting in the Lord, and believing you are who God see’s you as. We all make mistakes, but if we are a champion, then we can make it through any challenge, we can survive any obstacle, and we will always come out on top because we have the strongest force around, the almighty father. We will all fall into many labels through our life, but the only one that truly matters is the champion for Christ. When we find ourselves low, and questioning who we are, where we have fallen to, or when we are trying to dig ourselves out of the rubble that is our life, we know that the storm is temporary. Heaven is eternity. God’s love and grace is never ending and we need to have faith in the plan we cannot see. Do not listen to the lies of the Devil who will try to make you believe you’re something you’re not. You’re not a looser, you’re not a failure, you’re not worthless. These things are not to be believed. We all fail sometimes, we all fall short of expectations, but that doesn’t mean we are forever in that position. In time we shall rise above, and knowing that Jesus is with us, holding our hand, guiding us, we need to listen to the spirit. Follow the guidance and rise and thrive. That’s who we are, we are warriors, and we never quit.

 

 

 

The Fear He Can Smell

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The Fear He Can Smell

The lion that stalks you in the darkest hours of the night. The storm that springs up from nowhere and tosses you around the sea. But how do you feel when life explodes all around you? The scent that emanates from the deepest parts of your heart when despair is all you know. The snake that slithers around, waiting and watching patiently for that scent to be strong. The Devil, much like the ParaDeomons from Justice League can smell fear. “Fear, they can smell it!” (Justice League) If we are to fight this spiritual war, we must first acknowledge something important, we must face our deepest fears. “You have to let it all go, Neo. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind.” (Morpheus, Matrix) We cannot allow our fears, or our doubts to cloud the truth of Jesus Christ. So many people want concrete proof with their own eyes to believe in a higher power. We can’t give in to our own fears and doubts. We must find our courage to stand tall, and continue to carry on.

“The purpose is to experience fear. Fear in the face of certain death. To accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and one’s crew. This is a quality expected in every Starfleet captain.” (Spock, Star Trek, 09) We will experience fear in our life. There are things we won’t be prepared to face, but the catch is we can turn to God for strength. God will never leave us to make it through on our own. Every day in our life is a test of some kind, and if we are to be the best Christians we can be, we have to learn how to face our fears, and to control them, not let them control us.

I can remember a few times when I was in Iraq I was scared. I remember the fear that would sweep over my body, and the question if I’d make it out alive or not would always creep into my mind. While my training allowed me to stay focused on the task at hand, I always reminded myself that if it was my time, God would take me home, and there wasn’t anything I could do about that. I became comfortable in the knowledge I may not make it home. When you get to the point where you’re comfortable with the idea of death, far less things will make you afraid. In my life today I find I am more fearless when it comes to myself, but when it comes to others fear still makes an appearance. I find now my biggest fears are that of abandonment, a fear of walking this journey alone without a companion. I think for me, this has been my weakness that the Devil has picked up on, and now uses as often as he can. My fear of being alone seems to be something I just haven’t been able to shake. As I watch friends get married, engaged, or have children, I now find myself longing for those things. My life hit a snag and the reset button was hit. Now I am starting over again, and the fear of tomorrows fate scares me. I know through my life as I’ve watched one love after another move on without me, now I’m left fearful of my fate. I do not desire to be alone, and my fear is that I have somehow deserved this fate. I know that my fear is strong in this area of my life. That fear trickles to other parts in my life. The lies whispered to me from the Devil playing on my insecurities my own self worth. I have always questioned my looks, my personality, and wondered why I’ve been alone so often. I have wondered why so many have left me, and while I realize I’m not perfect, I’m not in control of others and their own moral compass. My fears have plagued me for many years, and if I’m ever going to be happy with myself, and if I’m going to find that happiness while on my own, I must acknowledge my fears, and then learn to face them.

We all have fears, but the catch of living this life following Christ is not allowing that fear to dictate our actions. We must walk by faith, not sight. We must trust in the one who gives us our strength, our courage, and trust in the Lord and lean not unto our own understanding. We must believe that the turbulent waters are just temporary, and just around the river bend the calm straight is waiting for us. Do not fall for the lies the Devil will feed us. Fear is a liar, one designed to rob you from your happiness. I’m not talking about the fear that keeps you alive in the face of danger; I’m talking about the fear of moving forward. Trust in the Lord and believe that your salvation is the most important thing, and the rest, if part of the plan, and faithfulness will fall into place. We often want what we want, and if we live in the past, we are telling God you don’t trust him. You’re telling God you’re going to do it your way, and his timing isn’t good for you. Stop letting fear rule your emotions and your actions. Face your fears and come out on top. You are in control, not fear. God is with you always, and for that, there is nothing to fear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Light or Dark

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Light or Dark

The darkest night covers me and I need you

The sun fuels my heart and gives me warmth and strength. I need you then too.

Because of you I’m alive.

No matter where I am, or the season I’m in, my Lord I need you.

Who am I without you, I am no one.

The Lord of all knows my name.

 

The Lord who created in love not because of what I do, just because I am. I am a sinful man, but love saved me. Never because of what I’ve done, just because of what you are. No matter my of praise, or my day of prayer your grace comforts me. Today the flowers bloom, and tomorrow the ice shall come, but in all my day, and in all my ways I am yours. Because you are with me I shall not fear the night. The night was so dark without you, but your glory so bright the single ray of light when the sun peaks the horizon, the darkness breaks. Jesus Christ the pure light that would forever push the darkness away rose.

What do I have to offer the king of the universe, my heart, my everything, and yet I will never be worthy of the gift bestowed upon me. I can surrender all and even up to my life it would never cover the debt. But it is grace, and love my bill was covered by Christ. I was so loved before I was born that for me my sins and the sins of billions of others, a blood debt freely given, ransomed for my freedom of death. If my debt was paid when I’m knocked down, who then do I fight for? Christ got back up and his strength became my strength. I will get back up and continue to fight till my dying breath. I owe it to Christ to never give up and never surrender to the darkness.

God’s word has withstood the test of time, and even now as we can see the darkness covering the land, we will watch, as God’s will, will be done. Those who criticize the word and those who push to remove God’s presence from the public will one day stand in judgment. The light of the word may be pushed away but in time the raging tide will again be tamed by the Lord. God’s word will stand firm, and the darkness will be pushed back, snuffed out by the light. No matter how far we fall it’s never to late to change our course. We cannot stop praying, or hoping for God to save us. We cannot stop worshiping the Lord no matter if things are great, or if everything has been blown to a million pieces. Yesterday is gone and we don’t live there anymore. We must learn to say goodbye to the past, and live in today. The heart may have been broken yesterday, but every day we breath is a new day of growing, a new day of healing. We must tell ourselves every day that Jesus is still with us, and in his love we are healed. You cannot expect to have an answer for every tragedy that happens, and in our walk we must learn to focus on Jesus. This world is not the end, and one day the end will come on this life and the walls that kept us confined will be no more. This is not where we belong forever, and we can count on the promise made by Jesus to one day sit before the King and be accepted into the light. This life is but a fleeting speck of dust in the wind, and if we want to go home, know that this world will one day wash away.

Praise the Lord for success, and praise the Lord in failure. In every chance we get, both good and bad, fix your eyes on the one and only thing that will satisfy your heart and that’s Jesus. Life can be hard, and we are told to expect the trials that come, and the persecutions that come with following Christ, but “If you can take it, you can make it.” (Unbroken) I am a broken man, and I fail every day to live up to what God expects of me. I know I fail, and I know I fall, but I know that because of grace, and I know what true love means, I still stand here knowing God is with me. I know I have the power of the Holy Spirit with me and I’m called to be more. I’m called to push myself, and to stand toe to toe with the darkness. Every day I stand and pray to protect me from the attacks. Every day I praise my God for the blessings I have. I know I am protected and I know that for Jesus saves my soul every day. I know that every day I wake hope is here. Every day I see the hope all around me, and I know that it’ll be all right. I’ve experienced the darkness, and I’ve seen the light. I’ve felt the cold, but the warmth always triumphs. In every tear that falls God holds them. In every heart that breaks God feels our pain, and yet healing begins with Christ.

Light or dark, we decide where to stand. We can choose to stay in the darkness avoiding the light if we wish, but when it gets cold, or the demons come to creep, know the light will always accept you. You can choose to live in fear of the unknown, or you can choose to trust in Jesus and know that there is a brighter future waiting for you. You can choose to walk in the darkness, but no matter where you choose to walk, Jesus Christ is always there with you. If you choose to walk in the darkness, you have to expect to stub your toe on the furniture. Who then will you blame, God for not removing the obstacle, or yourself for not turning on the light? We as people will always learn more from hardships then a life of ease and calm rivers. If you are to be truly tested we must first be pushed to the limits to know what we are truly capable of. It’s in these times we need to turn to Christ more then ever, because we do not truly grow otherwise. We often pray for things we think are good for us, but we only see two feet ahead, but God sees a mile. We are but children clamoring around the house trying to place our finger in a light socket. God tries to warn us what not to do, but we are a stubborn people, and if we truly wish for a smoother ride we must learn to trust in the Lord and stop being so resistant to what we are told. God’s grace and love is unyielding, but our acceptance of it into our hearts is purely voluntary. Jesus loves you more then you know, and we should praise the Lord in all things, each and every day. Because our savior lives we must pray. We overcome by the power of His blood, and we are alive because he lives. Prayer is the absolute least we can do, and for the gift of life, shouldn’t we do at least that? We would be dead without Christ. Sin and shame would be all we are without the blood, and we’re alive because He lives. The light that would forever be the voice over the shadow, my life was and is held in His hands. So I pray to you Lord, thank you for my life, thank you for my pain, thank you for your love, and thank you for your gracious sacrifice for me. In your Holy Name, Amen.

Peace

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Peace

When I was in the middle of the worst storm of my life I was seen through by Jesus. When I felt like I was being tossed around at night unable to see I was being guided through safe and sound.

I have been in the storm more then once, each time was more dangerous then the next and even when all odds were against me to survive, Jesus was right there with me unwilling to let me die just yet. People often ask me how I can believe in such an old antiquated idea. I recently heard the bible called a ‘nice story’. For me the Bible isn’t just some story, it has historical fact behind it, and more then that the length of time in just the old testament alone would be long enough time that unless inspired by a higher power it’s unlikely those events occur as they did. The prophesy laid down throughout the old testament, and then the coming of the Star of David as fulfilling prophesy wouldn’t have been likely. Astronomy wasn’t exactly a big science back then. Jesus foretold events to come, but even if you claim those parts were made up, who dies protecting a lie? Eleven men, who walked with Jesus for three years would be hunted by the Romans, and other nation’s leaders as they would preach and proclaim the word of Jesus Christ. Each of their eye witness accounts were written and matched one another based on their own backgrounds and points of view. Each man would fall one by one pressured to recant their story, admit they stole the body of Jesus Christ, and out their co-conspirators, yet not one denounced the truth. Who dies horrible, painful, tortured deaths, for a lie?

While it has been 2000 years give or take since the death of Christ, the works of the miraculous haven’t stopped. Most miracles happen and only a small select few know about it, or even say anything, but once in a while the story gets out and raises the question of these events throughout history. One story, a little girl diagnosed with a non-curable disease within her digestive tract, one day this disease will kill her. She’s playing with her sisters on an old tree on their property. She falls into the tree 20 feet and after hours of rescue they are finally able to get her out. Miraculously she walks away with a small bump on the head, not even a concussion. Within days it appears her disease is gone, and her health returned to normal. She had been fighting the disease for over a year. She recounts her experience talking to God and asked if she wanted to go home with her parents. She returned healthy, uninjured.

If this one miracle weren’t enough to sway me, I’d have to look back over my own life. I have several stories from my own past that should have taken my life, but surprisingly I’m still here. 1990, I was on an indoor slide and while at the top I was pushed over the side falling and landing on my neck. The fall probably should have killed me, but I walked away just a little sore. If that weren’t enough to sway me, I would see another miracle on September 12th, 2004. My convoy would be ambushed and my truck and another truck were separated from the group and made to run the gauntlet. 12 RPG’s, countless IED’s, and a hundred or so insurgent soldiers all shooting small arms at two trucks alone on a path designed to trap them. With chance after chance though damage was done, and eventually catastrophic damage, but not before miraculously making back to safety before the truck died when my foot came off the gas. It wouldn’t start again for nearly 6 weeks. Through the whole ordeal I was calm, and while every one else was yelling, I felt safe, at ease, and it came over me like a wave. This wasn’t from any amount of training, this was pure warmth and divine. If that weren’t enough, December 22nd 2004 a 155 round should have exploded just feet from my truck and miraculously didn’t. Had it detonated it’s likely someone if not everyone in the truck would have died. If that weren’t enough I should have died when a bullet went through my shoulder years later. Almost bleeding out, I wasn’t expected to reach the hospital alive. By the grace of God, and a divine encounter I survived waking up in the ambulance to everyone’s surprise. I had lost so much blood I was gray, and with purple lips I shouldn’t have survived the trauma and blood loss. Yet, when I was unconscious I distinctly remember saying, “God I’m Sorry.” And in response a loud, thunderous, booming voice replied, “You’re forgiven.” It was like I was hit in the chest, a jolt of lightning went through me and I awoke in the ambulance. The thing is, they never used the paddles on me. I never flat lined even though I was close. My vitals though low, improved once I regained consciousness. I begged them to let me go, I wanted to go back, but that wasn’t the plan. I didn’t die that day, and since then I have begun this blog, and I have begun to minister to countless others as I now openly discuss my faith. I have had a hand in saving the life of a man thrown from his vehicle in a roll over accident, and I know I have helped others through some very tough times. None of this would have been possible if God wouldn’t have spared my life that late afternoon.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.” For years I would try to find my purpose, and I would feel lost, forsaken by the God that supposedly loved me. For years I would grow in anger and frustration as one bad thing after another happened to me. I would suffer my final loss with my ex wife’s affair finally tipping the scale and pushing me beyond the max of what I could take in my life, or so I thought. I blamed God for the wrongs from people. I had always claimed to have free will, but when it came to others doing wrong against me I wanted to blame God. I constantly felt like my troubles were the result of God being angry and spiteful towards me. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The truth was fear, but not my own fear, fear of the Devil. The Devil attacks those the most with whom he is most afraid. Imagine for a moment the fear he had of Jesus Christ. If Christ could be turned, tempted by the powers of the dark side of the force he would be a failure to God, and would rule as King of the world, but nothing more. Jesus would not be tempted time and time again by Satan, despite his best efforts. Satan knew his time to rule over a fallen world was coming to an end. Lucifer would fail to turn Christ and when Jesus defeated death and rose in fulfillment of the scripture, the only thing Satan would have left was the prevent the human souls from being saved by Christ’s sacrifice. The Devil prowls around now tempting and swaying mankind into hate and despair. The Devil’s desperate final play before the end to stick it to God one last time is preventing as many souls from Heaven as he can.

We live in this world and allow this world to tear us down, to break us in some instances, and yet, we forget the most important part of the story, Jesus already paid our price. All we have to do as easy as it is to say, is make it to the end of this roller coaster we’re on. Life isn’t going to be easy, but if salvation were easy everyone would do it. If giving up ones sinful nature, ones desire to remain in control over ones own life, then everyone could do it, and salvation would loose something. Salvation is a choice, and a choice we have to freely make. I am not a perfect man by any stretch of the imagination, but I know that Jesus loved me so much he gave his life for me. I know God has plans for me and even if I don’t know what they are, I have to have faith. Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” I have tried for many years to do things my way, to walk my own path, and every time I have tried, I’ve failed. I have run for many years from ministry because I always thought God was wrong. I was filled with so much pain and anger, how could I possibly help anyone else? The thing was, God doesn’t want perfection, he uses broken people all the time. Broken people are more real in their stories from what they were, to the healing power of the Holy Spirit. The true power of the grace of God is the redemption of the fallen, the rebuilding of the broken, and the finding of the souls that were once believed to be lost for all time. Through the grace of God anything is possible. The true blessings we have all because of God cannot be understated. While many will argue the nature of divinity, in my experience, seeing is believing.

Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” God knew exactly what he was doing when I was created. He knew my hardships, and he knew the man I would eventually become. It’s his grace that saved me, and his love that would deliver me from the brinks of death. A rare second chance and unlike many who fall back into old ways, I rose above, and though I’m just as boneheaded as I was back then, I strive to better myself. I try to grow in my faith every day and to be a light in such a dark world. If we are ambassadors for Jesus Christ I want to try to put my best foot forward. So long I’ve tried to stand out in the crowd. I’ve tried to make my name be remembered for doing something great. My own goals were not what God had in mind for me. Greatness doesn’t come how many people know you; it comes from the memories you leave behind to those who remember you. I will try to be the best man God wants me to be, and let history decide the rest. We must have faith in the plan, and let go of our own plans. When we allow the father to guide us it takes much of the pressure off on where to go, or what we have to do. We must fall on our faith that God will handle the details, and we just go where he leads us. Faith isn’t easy, but those who walk by faith, while life is no easier, often learn to take life more in stride then others.

We walk in this dark world, and if we are to find peace we must first find hope. How can someone continue to fight if they feel no hope? Where do we find our hope when the world falls down upon our heads? When the Apostils watched in horror as their Lord was nailed to a cross after being brutally beaten, they were crushed in spirit. They were utterly without hope, but after 3 days the blood debt was paid, the victory lap had been made, and Christ would rise and make himself seen fulfilling the prophesy and destroying deaths hold over the sinner for all eternity. What hope is there do you ask? While the living God is still on the throne there is always hope. Those who dwell in the dominion of Hell have been pushed back as the blood spilt bridged the gap from sin to God. Where we have hope in Christ we have light, and while there is light we will always have peace. The love of God that lights up the darkness is all we’ll ever need. A heavy price was paid, and we have the only thing that will ever matter, the love of the father.

Do you have your passport?

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Do you have your passport?

John 14:6 “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” We know that the only way to heaven is to believe in the Son Jesus Christ. I have traveled over a large portion of the world and during those travels I had to use my passport to do so. When we die we have a choice of where we want to travel next. When we live our lives our actions will dictate where we go. Just like our passport to travel abroad, our passport doesn’t always give us the ability to travel to any country they want. Parts of China, Russia, and North Korea for instance are not permissible with a passport alone.

In Romans 10:9 it reconfirms the point that you cannot travel to Heaven without the relationship with Jesus Christ. “Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” The point is simple, we have straightforward rules to follow and if we do that, if we give our lives to Christ and accept that we are small in the grand scheme of life.

When we think about eternity why are we so stubborn to face the facts of life like a good honorable person? Sometimes in life it’s difficult to keep ourselves focused on the big picture. We often want the feel good medicine. We give up our morals, our compass that points to God for the things that give us worldly gratification. We often fall short in our walk with Christ, but thankfully the gatekeeper of Heaven is an understanding guy. Heaven is a place for those who are proclaimed sinners, people who know they’ve done wrong, and in the midsts of those mistakes try to pay the penance for them, they try to redeem themselves, and ask God for forgiveness for the sins committed, a person who tries to do the works for the pleasure of God. We cannot get to heaven through good works, but in our love of Christ, we are compelled to do good works because we are the hands and feet of Christ Jesus.

Make sure that as you live your life just like your drives license and your passport, you keep your faith renewed. Knowing Jesus and knowing that through Him is the only way into heaven that’s your passport. Make sure you keep it with you in your daily walk. Make sure you keep it updated by reading your bible, spending time with other Christians, loving your neighbors, and doing the works God has placed on your heart. Have faith in the Lord and you will be rewarded with a one way trip to eternal grace.

 

 

Regret

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Regret

In our lives we make decisions that in hindsight weren’t so good. We also make great decisions that can change our lives forever. It’s the one moment where life has fallen apart around you, the moment you can’t see the next breath you take, you can’t take a single step forward, life has stopped and the world looks like it’s moving around you at near light speed. The moment when all hope is lost, and the decision you make seems like the right one, but what if there was a way to move that step forward, what if I told you there was hope, and there is a next breath, would that change your mind for the next catastrophe in your life?

For many veterans and civilians who’ve gone through trauma getting stuck in that moment is all too common. When we get stuck we go through our days only a shell of who we used to be. We eat, we work, we sleep, we may even contribute to the life around us, but we aren’t really there. The sludge of the weight of what we carry builds as we trek through the mud farther and farther. There will come a point when you have the black tar from your shoes up to your neck. At some point you won’t be able to move forward anymore. No matter what our event is, whether it’s the death of a loved one, the loss of a spouse, sexual assault, horrific car accident, fire, or even just a series of events that you have entered that hurts those around you. We often push away people we love because we don’t want them to see us in pain, we don’t want them to see us suffering. We push away to defend ourselves, and them, from potential damage. We don’t want to drag anyone down with us, and sometimes it’s because we just can’t see beyond our own pain.

Being pushed away by someone who’s going through a lot of pain is hard. Knowing you want to help, and feeling powerless is perhaps the most difficult position to ever be in. Seeing someone you care about in pain, seeing them walk down a dark path, and when all you want to do is take their pain away and shower them in love, yet you’re held away, and pushed and kicked out of their life, is heart breaking.

For each of our mistakes we see the other side of other peoples. When we know they are making a mistake all we can do is pray for them. All we can do is hope that one day they will turn around from the path they’re on and hopefully do so before anything to bad happens they can’t come back from. For me I gravitated to the song One Step Away by Casting Crowns:

 What if you could go back and relive one day of your life all over again
And unmake the mistake that left you a million miles away
From the you, you once knew
Now yesterday’s shame keeps saying that you’ll never get back on track
But what if I told you

You’re one step away from surrender
One step away from coming home, coming home
One step from arms wide open
His love has never let you go
You’re not alone
You’re one step away

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve gone
Mercy says you don’t have to keep running down the road you’re on
Love’s never met a lost cause
Your shame, lay it down
Leave your ghosts in the past ‘cause you know that you can’t go back
But you can turn around
You’ve never been more than

 We aren’t ever alone. This message goes out to my veteran brothers and sisters, we aren’t ever alone. We sit at home, we have the open bottle of beer or booze, and we seclude ourselves in the dark, thoughts screaming in our head. We can’t seem to get out of the way. This, is, torture. When we trained for war we trained as a team. When we get home we see that no one is there for us, no one understands, how could anyone, they weren’t there. The thing is, that’s all an elaborate lie by the Devil to separate us from the world, and break us down. It’s not true. There are plenty of other veterans out there struggling with their own replay of war. Something else I’ve learned is trauma is trauma no matter what kind. Sexual assault, loss of loved ones, fire, car accidents, none of that is exclusive to military. Sure firefights may be a bit more segregated, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t there for you. We have support groups, veterans groups, outreach programs, and so much more to help get us all back to a good healthy place.

We all have our regrets in life but one of the biggest battles we will ever face is facing those mistakes. Allowing ourselves to heal from them on the inside by forgiving ourselves, asking others to forgive us and showing true repentance for those mistakes. Philippians 3:13 “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but [this] one thing [I do], forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,” We must go forth to God and ask for forgiveness, but we also need to make it right, we need to attempt to right our wrongs. 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” One thing that I am reminded of is how easy it is to get off track. How often do we do a wrong based on how someone else wrongs us? We as Christians should hold ourselves to a higher standard, and not fall into the world expectations. We cannot allow the world to dictate how we react, or how we treat others. We mustn’t let the world tell us the lies we often feel when dealing with life’s tragedies. Isaiah 43:18-19 “18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. 19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, [and] rivers in the desert.” We cannot know what our tomorrow brings, and we cannot know what surprises will be waiting for us just around the next bend in the road.

In all things in our life we should move forward with kindness in our hearts, forgiveness isn’t something to be earned, it’s something to be given freely. We can’t hold our forgiveness hostage like some kind of ransom is required to give it. If we are to live like Christ we must learn that people are sinful, people hurt others, we hurt them, and forgiveness isn’t always rebuilding the relationship if it’s lost. Christ forgave humanity for our sins despite the awful things we as a collective whole did to Him. We were not only forgiven for past and current sins, but future sins we might face in the future. 2 Corinthians 7:10 “10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.” When Judas betrayed Christ he could not get past his own grief and he took his own life by hanging. This is worldly sorrow. There is not repentance to be had, and no chance of redemption. We all Sin, we have make mistakes big and small. Even David a man of God’s own heart was not free from them. David was well known to be a fair man as a King, but he was a horrible husband and father. Psalm 51:1- 3 “51 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.”

 No matter how far we’ve fallen, there is always a way back. Even when it’s adulatory or other forms of betrayal. Proverbs 6:32-34 “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away. For jealousy makes a man furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge.” A man shall not take revenge for himself, for revenge is not bringing harmony. Justice is for the Lord. Forgiveness is for man, asking for it, and giving it freely. Do not allow your life to come to the end and regret a multitude of things. Make right your wrongs, make right the harm you’ve cause, the pain you’ve inflicted. Seek forgiveness in others, beg for forgiveness of the Lord. Let go of your own pain, and do not carry that weight with you. If you continue to carry a weight like that around you cannot continue to God’s work when you have so much on your shoulders already. Allow God’s grace to fill you, let yourself see through God’s eyes, let yourself feel with God’s heart, and learn to let go of judgments, let go of your own sorrow. Do not allow yourself to be weighed down any longer.

We all have things in our life we wish we could take back, things we could change. We can’t ever retrieve something we’ve let slip from out mouths, undo an action, but we can attempt to make right what we’ve done. Don’t wait for tomorrow, start healing today. Let the weight of the world fall from your shoulders, and find a new way, a better way, a Godly way of dealing with life, and facing the trials ahead of you. Our way is never the way even if it’s easier sometimes the easy way isn’t the right way, sometimes the right way is the path less traveled. It’s our job as Christians to figure out the path God wants us to be on. When we don’t know the path to take we must turn to the scripture and pray about our path. Proverbs 18:13 “13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” Don’t make a decision without knowing as much of the facts as possible so be sure to not make foolish decisions. Don’t allow yourself to be fooled by fake or false information. Proverbs 18:15 “15 The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge.” When you think you know something, don’t be quick to pass judgement without gaining other perspectives and complete the story. Don’t take a story as true just on face value. Proverbs 18:15 “15 The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge.”

Knowing what to expect when problems comes up is one thing. Knowing how to respond is the second side of that coin. We must know that in our lives we will face problems, we will face trials, and in all of those trials we know that we must accept and rejoice in those times. James 1:2-4 “2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; 3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” If anyone out there is like me the WHY ME question comes up sometimes. We know that patience is something we all need more of, and in our trials we are often tasked with growing in our faith, draw closer to God and growing in patience. IF we learn how to respond to issues, we could very well have fewer regrets in our life. John 16:33“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” When standing on the beach of the ocean we do not stand with our backs to the waves (generally) because when the big one hits us we get knocked own. Instead we face the wave head on, and we brace for it. Knowing what Christ expects of us on how to handle our troubles, knowing how to handle heartbreak, and betrayals, we can minimize the damage and we can help prevent us from getting into as much trouble.

We won’t always make all the right choices all the time, we won’t always handle every situation the best we can, we are human, we are driven by sin nature, and thus we will undoubtedly make mistakes. It’s in those mistakes however we know how to seek forgiveness, and seek repentance when they do occur. It’s in those mistakes, those hardships that our true character is placed on display. We find out more about ourselves through our trials then when things are always a batch of roses. Just remember that even the prettiest of roses have thorns. Seek God for the answers to your troubles, and seek God to the direction of your path. You may not be able to get rid of regret, but you can minimize its impact.

 

 

The Rain

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The Rain

The rain brings forth life, it makes the grass grow, the plants flowers, it fills the wells with the water we drink. When we think of relationships, life, we are left with images of sunny days, and to represent the bad, stormy ones. The rain comes all the time. It is feared by some that the rain will take everything, and sometimes it does. Are we afraid of the changes that come from a long rain? The flood, the raging waters that can destroy everything we hold most dear. Matthew 7:25-27 “25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.” We must learn to build our lives on a solid foundation. Do not fear the rain for if you know your stance, know the platform in which you live your life, nothing can destroy you.

 There’s a saying in the military ‘Embrace the suck’. It means own the struggles. Embrace the hardships, the heartbreaks, the tragedies, and learn how to turn the horrible things into advantages. Akido and Jujutsu are very common martial art forms that use an enemies energy and movements against them. In such fashion I believe we can use the attacks of the Devil to our advantage. If we loose our job because of someone, or the whiles of the Devil are playing games with you, find a better one. Change your direction. If a relationship falls apart then find one that suits you better.

If we embrace the rain and use it, let the terrible things give us strength. Own the anger and don’t let it rule you. Habakkuk 1:2-4 “O Lord, how long shall I cry, and thou wilt not hear! even cry out unto thee of violence, and thou wilt not save! 3 Why dost thou shew me iniquity, and cause me to behold grievance? for spoiling and violence are before me: and there are that raise up strife and contention. 4 Therefore the law is slacked, and judgment doth never go forth: for the wicked doth compass about the righteous; therefore wrong judgment proceedeth.” The question is why does God allow this to happen. God answers in verse 5 “Behold ye among the heathen, and regard, and wonder marvelously: for I will work a work in your days which ye will not believe, though it be told you.” Being prepared for more, the battle the awaits us, is it possible that the rain is perhaps a blessing and we just can’t see it? I’m sure if we look hard enough we can actually see our blessings even in the deepest of tragedies.

After the hardest rains we are left with beautiful sunshine, beautiful rainbows, and a sense thanks to have survived it. When it rains go out into it and dance. Have faith you will not be harmed, have faith that in this life there are simple truths. Those truths are this life is but temporary in nature. When this life ends the rain is no more and sunshine is all we will know. If we do not embrace our challenges how do we know our true potential? You may not have ever liked the rain, but now I urge you to look at your challenges, your personal rain clouds differently. What is it doing for you, find the lesson to be learned, the changes you can make. Instead of sitting inside and being sad about the rain go out into it and dance and sing. Not saying every challenge is easy to overcome, but at the very least try.

Lamentations 3:22-23 “22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”