Rediscover

Rediscover

The song plays in the distance, Moon River by Melissa Benoist. I have a dream to cross over the rainbow to find my Oz. A journey of discovery to find who I’m meant to be, I walk a path that seems black and white and without color we aren’t truly alive. Over the rainbow lies a land of magic, of color, of wonders beyond our wildest imagination. How do I get there I wonder, how do I take the step, then the leap to see if I can fly? I find myself scared to do what is necessary. I struggle to think about what if I’m making a huge mistake? The butterfly’s in my stomach doing summersaults, and as I watch a part of my life close, I wonder how did all this happens, I’m left with no answers. Life was good, moving forward, and I liked where I was. It’s so difficult closing a book when it’s over. A book that caught you, that grabbed every bit of your essence, and knowing that it’s done, it’s hard to grasp the finality of what’s come to pass. It’s clear now, that where I’m meant to is not where I thought I’d be. My life changed in an instant and in a year I found myself fighting a duality. I feel as if I’ve been split into two people and I barely recognize either of them. The man I see in the mirror I don’t recognize. The family that never would be, the career that ended before it flew, the awards that now gather dust in a box, all for nothing.

I know I never followed the typical path, but now I question why. What is it about me that so much bad have happened in a single lifetime? I look down at the cross I wear on my finger. The words of the armor are the reminder to remain strong and to fight the urge to crumble. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, and the urge to cry comes. I don’t know what’s waitin’ round the bend for me, and I don’t know if I have a friend waiting for me. I feel like I’m falling apart. My resolve seems to be shaken, and now I question everything. Of course when the going gets tough the answers are found in only two places. 1. Scripture, 2. Godly counsel.

Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

 My Lord, you must think I’m strong because I feel like the weight of the world is crushing me. Where is the light at the end of these hard times? Where’s the grace when the world isn’t fair? Where’s the faith I need to stand strong in the raging storm?

Rediscover 3Looking back at the person I once was I liked who I was back then. I look back and see the strength to take on the world, to overcome anything that came, and I was. I was a happier person, I was full of joy, and life. Today I feel so removed from then. I feel like the scars have built up and now I don’t see who I was any longer. I survived a war and through that I felt more me then I do now. The suffering from combat left me looking at the person in the mirror and I saw someone new. Now I look into the mirror and I see so little of my old self-looking back. It looks like me, but broken, fogged over through the steam that covers the glass. I wipe away the dew on the glass and I see the mask looking back at me.

God, I am broken today. I feel lost and I feel broken. My God I ask for healing today, and could healing happen today? My Lord on high you’ve watched me fall, you’ve seen me cry, you’ve seen me bleed, so I ask you on this day, to stand here with me broken together. Help pick me up and guide me along the right path. I don’t know which way’s up, or which ways down, I’m lost at sea with no stars to guide me. My fairy tale has broken down and like Humpdy Dumpdy I thought maybe I couldn’t be put back together again. Today I fall to my knees and I pray and pray, and I know that there’s only one hope for me, God’s love and God’s healing grace. I know that in this trial I’ve been tested. As many have before I me, I lean upon the words of prophesy.

Revelation 2:10 “Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.” God you’ve never left my side even in the storm, even as I faced death, you carried me back on wings of grace. You saved me for a purpose and even when I don’t know what that is, you do. You have given me a second chance to praise you in the storm, and no matter the waves that pound against me I won’t back down, I won’t stop fighting. My God my God, you have seen me through the war, you have seen me loose it all, you’ve seen me stumble, you’ve seen me fall, but today as I cry and feel like I can’t go on, I feel the strength come from above. As I sit and write I cry and the moment I start my dog lays her head in my lap. You use her to remind me you’re still there.

I am reminded that I need you Lord because the worlds to big. I stop and I listen, I quite my mind, and I reach down deep to hear your voice again. It’s with me always but sometimes I forget. Lord you cover me with the grace of your Angels, you protect me from harm, and you lift my soul. You rescue me from the Devil’s snare and one day you will call me home. While today is not that day, and nor was it yesterday or the times before, you have watched over me.

While I sit and seek tomorrow I pray the rainbow is bright. I see my wonderland and through the keyhole I ask if I seek, someday will I find, someone to watch over me. The future is a question we can’t be afraid of. We must grab life by the horns and must learn to leap so we may fly. While I’m not sure where I’m going, or what I’m doing, I know that I must take the leap of faith, and I know this journey will be one for me to rediscover who I am. Often when a chapter ends, or even the book the next phase is to relearn, rediscover who you are, or who you’re meant to be.

Rediscover 2

I Can Go The Distance

I have often dreamed of a far off place
Where a hero’s welcome would be waiting for me
Where the crowds would cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying this is where I’m meant to be

I’ll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way if I can be strong
I know every mile would be worth my while
When I go the distance, I’ll be right where I belong

As I keep going in this life, I know I will one day find that welcome. I remain on the path, and one day I will finish the song.

I will search the world, I will face its harms
‘Till I find my hero’s welcome waiting in your arms

 

 

 

 

Alsahm السهم -(The Arrow)

Alsahm السهم -(The Arrow)

Lately I’ve been thinking about the darkness. In one of my favorite books growing up called The Hatchet the young protagonist is a survivor of a plane crash in the middle of the woods. All he really has is a hatchet that was given to his as a gift. A few days after the crash he learns he can use the hatchet on the stone to create sparks, thus being able to light a fire. Growing up I was a big fan of D&D or Dungeons and Dragons for those who don’t speak nerd. One of my favorite things to do was to light my arrows on fire before launching them at the enemy. It was always a little extra if it hit. The plus side was it always lit up the room of the dungeon we always found ourselves in. Don’t we wish life would be that easy? Wouldn’t it be nice if the fog of war was truly lifted with just a single matchstrike of an arrow and all of a sudden the ghosts and goblins that are on the prowl around us are visible for the entire world to see?

If the saying is true about God using us like arrows then the example of drawing the bow pulling the arrow backwards, soon you will be launched forward. One of the things I struggle with is patience. This is a surprising thing because I’m also an archer and a long-range shooter. Both require patience. Since I am patient in regards to that, one would think that in regards to other aspects of my life I would be too, and of course, without question they’d be wrong. I am not a patient man when it comes to matters of the heart, or matters of fixing the things I see are wrong. I have never liked being single, and I’ve never liked knowing about a problem and not fixing it there on the spot. Patience is something we are taught in scripture and it’s something we often need to be reminded of. Romans 12:12 “Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;” Not only does it say to be patient; it says to rejoice in it. Were supposed to be happy in our pursuit in patience. Galatians 6:9 “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” No matter how long it may take, we should not grow tired in our times of trails, and we should not grow tired while we do good works. For it is that time that we must remain patient and vigilant for our time of grace is but a blink in the eye for the Father. We cannot force change for it is not our change to force. The only true gifts are those of the Fathers graces to us.

The Arrow a symbol of moving forward, flying in a direction aimed by the archer. The essence of patience, of speed and of accuracy is the arrow. The symbol of the arrow has been used throughout the ages. The arrow goes back to Greek and Roman mythology as a sign of strength and speed. Alsahm or The Arrow in Arabic. While in ancient China the arrow was a symbol that hung in the front of the house telling the world of the birth of a son. The arrow is a symbol of power, of direction and of survival. The earliest arrows as they are also used today were used to hunt and to take the life of an animal, which provided strength for the tribe in nourishment. As I have taken up the pseudonym Arrow preacher, I too provide nourishment to my flock but spiritual in nature. The Arrow’s long lasting symbolism in human society is so powerful, so beautiful, I cannot overlook something so important, so beautiful in my own life. The arrow on a compass pointed north, symbolizing the direction of God, we must always keep our arrow in line, and we must always remember which way to go. Draw back your bow, take aim, and as you fly towards your next chapter in life, remember to let God be the one to set your glide path.

Get to the point

Get to the point

Trust in all things the Lord is with you. Believe that in everything good and bad God is with you. Trust that each trial each test the teacher is always watching. The pull of the dark side is strong and the promises of the world that doing it the worlds way is more fun, is okay because it feels good.

Proverbs 4:14 “Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men.” We may not always see the consequences of our actions, of our sin but they are there. We may not always know the wrongs in front of us, but when we don’t listen to the wise Godly counsel we fall into a whole new level of problems. Proverbs 12:15 “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.” No matter how far we fall or go off course we can take comfort knowing that we will be forgiven for our transgressions. We will be forgiven for the mistakes we make.

I had someone tell me once that they needed to live their life the way the best saw fit. That they needed to know they could do it alone. The thing is with all of this trouble we aren’t alone. Proverbs 14:12 There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death” In the grand scheme of life what’s the point? Is the feathers of an arrow the most important part, the shaft of the arrow, nope that’s not it either. The point, the bladed arrowhead that pierces through armor, that draws the blood, pierces the locks that hide the truth from the world, the arrowhead that drives home the point. Christ is the way, the only way, and it’s in that, that we must draw strength. The integral parts of the arrow cannot work without the others. It’s way it flies, the way it pierces, the point of this has always been, the word of God.

The truth is only important if it’s spread around and told to others. The truth cannot be denied as the truth, but can only be accepted as the truth so long as others hear it. The truth as only learned by one is not affective. Yes the saving of one life is worth everything, but if we can save the lives of more we should.

Walk away from the lies of the world, walk away of the sinful desires, the wishes of a sinful soul. Do not fear the light, do not fear the sun, yet turn your back on Satan, and follow the true path. Realize the darkness inside and cast out the demons that mean to distract you, to take you away from God. Be the point of the arrow and drive home the meaning, the mission. Do not fear for the Lord our God is with you. Always have hope, and help will always be there to those who ask for it.