Tag: army

Making A Plan

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Making A Plan

All my life I had a plan, I knew how the plan was going to go, I knew how my life was going to unfold, and I knew how to execute the plan. Well, a day before I graduated high school the plan fell apart. ‘The defense department regrets to inform you that you have be found ineligible for the selection into the United States Marine Corps. “ Well, there went my plan. I was so certain I would make it into the Armed Services I barely spent any time on my college testing, and I had only applied to two universities. Both of which I was accepted to, though, I hadn’t planned for how I was going to pay for college. So my plan flew off the rails before it even got going. After a year of moving around a bit, I got a job but wasn’t satisfied with life. I was terrified of college and failing so I ran away from that as fast as I could. It was just by pure coincidence (if there is such a thing) that I ran into an Air Force recruiter in the store. I had talked to him about my denial letter and re suggested I reapply. A few months later I moved back home to live with my Grandfather, and I talked to my local recruiter. Everything was looking good, the process was going along smoothly, and away to MEPS I went. Something was wrong though. I didn’t feel the choices in the Air Force fit my personality and my drive. When I got back from MEPS my recruiter wasn’t there at the recruiting station. I was really upset by that, and I stormed into the Army recruiting office and started talking to them. Within 10 minutes I was headed home with a list of Army jobs, and a slew of information. I had at least 13 jobs circled for further review within the 15-minute drive home. This looked promising I said to myself. I went to MEPS again for the final time before I would ship out, the rest of my testing was done; the job selection process came up. Cavalry Scout was the dream job. There was only 1 slot open so we had to write an essay between two of us candidates. Mine was chosen and I advanced to get a ship date, 6-month wait.

For the next 6 months I would train, and I would enjoy the time I had left with close friends. I would be headed to Fort Knox for one station unit training, and while I was there I would get my duty station. I had signed up for a 1-year hardship in Korea. I figured, if I was going to go to war at least I could have some training in the Army first. During basic I was doing well, I was getting faster, stronger, and testing well. I was moving along to graduate then all of a sudden I ended up with MERSA and I was hospitalized for 4 days. I missed out on vital training, so instead of graduating with my class, I would be recycled through to the next class to graduate. This hit me like a ton of bricks. The plan wasn’t cooperating. I would graduate 6 weeks later then planned. I went to Korea and placed in my unit up at Camp Casey. 1 year in Korea wasn’t going to be so bad. I had a plan, and if I liked it I might even stay one more year after that. Except the plan wasn’t going to cooperate again. We as a unit were being removed from Korea, sent to Iraq and our new home location would be determined while we were in theater. I choose Korea because hardship duty stations didn’t deploy to other combat zones, or they hadn’t in almost 50 years. All that time and effort I spent getting away from the war for a little while just vanished in front of me.

While in country I would get hurt (non combat related) I would loose friends (combat related) and I would endure hardships. I would get home and try my best to keep making plans. Relationships wouldn’t go to plan, I would end up having surgery on my knee, I would get married, then get out of the military ahead of schedule. I moved, and then moved to Europe as a civilian military spouse. I would loose that marriage to an affair. I met a wonderful woman, eventually would marry her and then in time watch as my life was torn apart by yet another grisly affair.

So, that’s pretty much the last 15 years. I look back and I snicker at how well my best laid plans would work. I heard a quote just a couple weeks ago “Make the plan, Execute the plan, Expect the plan to go off the rails, Throw away the plan.” (The Flash) That statement couldn’t be truer. What does God think of our plans? Well, funny you should ask, Proverbs 15:22 “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” As we all know, even as much as we may want something, that doesn’t mean that’s what God has planned for us. Amos 3:7 “For the Lord God does nothing without revealing his secret to his servants the prophets.” Since we haven’t seen any prophets in a long time, it’s safe to say we often fly blind. Another saying to laugh about is “Tell God your plans and watch Him laugh.”

Living by following the cross, and doing our very best to listen to what God has planned for us is the closest we have to knowing plans will even partially work. When God closes a door we have a hard time understanding why, we have a hard time accepting no as an answer. For some it’s not a no, it’s just a not yet, but for others, their fate is down a different rabbit hole. We all know that the best-laid plan is to follow Christ. Read the scripture and the lessons left for us to follow and you can’t go wrong. Not all our plans are meant to work, some are because of our own doing, and some will fail because of others. The path your on doesn’t actually end, it just splits. It’s up to all of us to choose the path we feel lines closest to what God wants for us. James 4:13-17 “Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”

I’ll leave you with this story as a close. August 2012, just three months before I was scheduled to be married I was out with my girlfriend and her father. She had just got a new Smith & Wesson Bodyguard semi automatic pistol. It’s a little .380 about the size of my hand. We’d been out shooting for a little while and I opted to shoot last. I was testing out the built in laser and I went to a knee to see how accurate it was. I held the gun steady and I squeezed the trigger. It jumped like no tomorrow as I felt a huge wave of air on my face. It felt like a book had been waved in front of my face, then hit me. I went to stand up, but I couldn’t see completely. My face was red hot, and I could feel the warm hot liquid poor from my face. I could feel it on my hand when I touched my face, and it was at that moment I realized I was in need of help. I turned around and dropped to a knee. We would later find the bullet casing had exploded in the chamber. It buckled the guns plastic, and peppered my eye protection with bits of shrapnel. Sadly my glasses didn’t protect my entire face and my cheek, nose, and forehead weren’t so lucky. My vision was saved due to the glasses, but to this day a piece of shrapnel still remains in my right cheek as the surgeon was unable to remove the tiny fragment in fear of doing more harm then good. Every day we went shooting we always planned and executed safety as best we could. On this particular day it happened to be, I was doing what I was supposed to, I wore what I was supposed to, but I was still injured. Thankfully the shrapnel wasn’t lower and it didn’t go through the artery in my neck. Even the best laid, most carefully thought out plans can quickly go to all Hades. Just remember that sometimes, when our plans go off the rails THAT may be part of the bigger plan after all.

Survivors Guilt

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Survivors Guilt

It’s been 12 years since the day it happened. 12 years ago the way I perceived time and life, the way I viewed my enemies, and the day I questioned my own self worth all changed. I don’t recall the time of day, or even the day of the week, but in Iraq none of that really matters unless you have a mission briefing, or a start time for the mission. The mission itself was simple, Early morning sunrise our mission started. Due to my injury I was a dismount during the mission. I was moved from my normal truck to dismount for someone else. We where looking for ways insurgents might be smuggling weapons into Ramadi. Our mission was to travel along the railroad tracks, and mark on GPS possible points small cars could fit through, and bypass our checkpoints. My knee killing me, and still slightly swollen I sat in back of the Humvee looking out the window. We where coming up to the railroad tracks, and the dirt cross over when a sinking gut feeling came over me. I’d never had a feeling like this before, but I felt I had to say something. I told my driver to look out for wires. He responded “Are you afraid of IED’S?” My feeling in my gut wouldn’t go away. The mission continued as normal. We went from point to point logging them, and noting them on the GPS. On our way back we stopped at a house to talk to the owner. Waiting outside and keeping watch I could hear the discussion going on at the front door. He had a single AK, but several magazines. According to law he could have 1 rifle, and 2 magazines. He argued they where for alibaba, or thiefs. Regardless, the man was forced to give up the rest of his mags. It was about that time I was looking over toward the railroad tracks. I didn’t know what I was looking at, at the time. I saw the plume of smoke first, and then the sound wave hit me. The biggest boom I’d ever heard, and the biggest bloom of smoke I’d ever seen. In the midst of the black smoke I could see a tan object 200 feet in the air. I refused to believe I saw what I thought I saw. Then our squad leader yelled IED. That’s when I realized what was had happened.

 

                                    NOTE THE FOLLOWING IS VERY GRAFIC

 We all raced back to the truck, and before the doors where shut we where hauling our butts back up to the tracks. We rounded the corner at what seemed like 60 mph. It came over the radio that Saber 4 was the truck hit. Coming up the hill we could see the truck. It looked to be in two pieces. (Out of respect of the families I’ll be keeping their names private.) I jumped out and went to the back of the truck to grab the Aid bag. Running as fast as I could with my knee still swollen, I came to the first person I could see. I recognized the mangled body instantly. A close friend of mine lay there lifeless, pale, and unresponsive. His wounds where extensive, he had massive lacerations on both legs, cuts on his neck and arms. He had a very low pulse, but before starting compressions I wanted to tie off his legs. If he where to survive I knew he’d loose his legs. I tied the tunicate as tight as I could, but it didn’t seem to matter how tight I pulled. The rope just wasn’t getting the job done. I did the best I could with it, and moved on to compressions. I check again for a pulse but this time I felt nothing. I started compressions. I pushed hard over and over. I counted each thrust, and then felt for a pulse again. I felt a low pulse, and waited for a medic. A medic I thought, our medic was in this truck! Where was he? Again feeling for a pulse and there wasn’t one. I needed to keep his heart going. I started compressions again, this time I wouldn’t stop. I pushed and pushed. I don’t know how long I pushed but eventually one of the other medics came up to me, and knelt down next to me. He reached for a pulse and said there wasn’t one. Based on how soft his chest was, and the lack of blood, Doc called him gone KIA, killed in action. I screamed at him that he wasn’t gone, but doc told me I had to let him go. I screamed no at him again, that I felt a pulse. He said something to me again, but I wasn’t listening, I was doing compressions again. Doc grabbed me from behind and pulled me off and held me in his arms. “He’s gone (My Name) .” He said softly in my ear. He held me while I struggled to get free. “(My Name) he’s gone.” He said again. I relaxed my muscles and he let me know. I leaned back to my friend. I closed his eyes, and covered his face with his fractured vest. I stood up in a fog. I looked around for our medic. Where was he? I was still unsure at what all was happening. I asked my squad leader. He was still missing. Looking around I saw a tan object about 40 meters away in the water. I asked if that was him, and was told it was too far. Leaving my rifle behind by my fallen friend I walked the road looking for my missing medic friend. He had to be in the water. He was driving. He was on that side, but wasn’t on the hill. I slid down the side of the hill, and left my vest aside. I slipped into the freezing cold water. Another buddy got in on the other side of the pond and swam to the same tan colored object I saw. I looked at his face when he got there. It told me everything I needed to know. He was gone, but I just didn’t know how bad, or the images that would haunt my dreams. He swam to me to get our friend out of the water. Lifting him out I saw how bad the injuries where. The explosion severed everything from belly button down. By this time several of the guys met us at the top of the hill to help lift our fallen medic out of the water. The side of the hill was mud, and while lifting my footing slipped, and I fell forward. I landed face first on doc’s stomach. Barely holding it together I pushed myself up and after they got Doc up and on the stretcher, a few of the guys went back to the water to look for more remains. I was helped out of water and up the hill. I grabbed my vest, my rifle, and still in a haze made my way back to my truck. I put my vest back on, and stood there looking around with a fog over my head. The captain who looked at my knee just days before was in critical, the only survivor. Our platoon Sergeant was also killed. We mounted up to escort our friend back to camp to get him off on a helicopter to Baghdad. In the 5 minute drive back radio traffic told us Doc didn’t make it. The first physician assistant to be killed during the war in Iraq. By the time we got back the Charlie med we were greeted with two of our great female medic friends. Getting down from the humvee they asked who. I didn’t realize how I said it till it came out of my mouth, but it was cold, and blunt. I couldn’t feel anything, I was still processing. All the medics much like the scouts where close friends. The girls cried, and us guys where angry. My truck commander crabbed me and swore we’d find um and kill um. I nodded in agreement. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to think.

Since then I have found myself replaying that day over in my head from time to time. The days where my anxiety is higher, or something happens to remind myself of worse times. I was then and occasionally now suffer from what’s known as survivor’s guilt. Along with the events of that dreadful day, I have an abundance of other trauma’s and my own run ins with Hell on Earth. I felt guilty for years that my gut was telling me something was wrong that day. Even though I did say something, it didn’t matter though the outcome was the same. 12 years later I still feel guilty and ashamed. I know in my heart there was nothing more I could have done to save anyone, or prevent the tragedy from happening, but my head lies to me. Now I have gone through my own physical traumas and I am faced with a new problem every day. I do hope and pray that one day I might find myself more at peace, not just from my time in Iraq, but times from before, and after.

It’s not easy loosing loved ones to cheating, or other means. The first thing is to evaluate reasonably the level of guilt that is owed to you. No one is innocent when a relationship ends, but to what level is the culpability of guilt. When we look at the Gospel we see a man Crucified that was innocent of any wrongdoing. He died to free us from eternal damnation. His death left us with hope. It is in that hope that I find comfort. No matter how hard my day, no matter how badly I feel I remember that I am a faithful child of the King. I will one day take up my place in the Kingdom and live in peace and harmony. I will not only see my loved ones who’ve died before me, but all my friends from Iraq, not just the 4 from that day, but everyone we lost. I will also see my friends who’ve died over the years. With as many people as I’ve lost close to me you’d think I was in my 60’s or 70’s. Sadly that’s not the case.

There are several lies the Devil tells to us and it’s our job to fight them.

Lie #1 You were supposed to die.

This couldn’t be further from the truth. If it were your time God would have taken you. If you’ve survived it was for a purpose, a greater meaning. We never know what our worth is, and what our part to play is. We may not always be directly responsible for something great, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t have a role to play.

LIE #2: YOU OWE A DEBT TO THE DEAD.

You don’t owe the dead anything. You owe it to yourself and those around you to honor the deads memory. You must continue to live so the memory of your friends or those you couldn’t save can live on in our hearts.

LIE #3: YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THE DEAD FROM DYING.

Unless you’re God, which you aren’t, you cannot control if someone lives or dies. Firefighters can’t save everyone. Police can’t save everyone. Paramedics can’t save everyone, and it’s not practical to think we have the power to alter the plan. We may not always know why God takes a little child, or the honor roll student and not the drug dealer, but again the big picture we can’t see. We must have faith in God.

LIE #4: YOU ARE LESS WORTHY THAN THE PEOPLE WHO DIED.

This is just utter nonsense. Feeling down about your own self worth, thinking they were a better man, or woman then you, thinking the world would have been a better place without you and have them instead is just nonsense. Even if we could see into the future, we are all special. We’ve all overcome great odds just to be born. The Lord doesn’t make mistakes. When the world is hard, and we feel low and discouraged, that’s when it’s most important to turn to the Lord and ask for help. Seek Godly counsel from close friends who live for the Lord.

LIE #5: YOU ARE DEFINED BY YOUR PAST.

This is the one I struggle with most. In my past I am worried that telling people of my past they judge me on it. That somehow everything I’ve gone through will one day come back to haunt me. My past is what has molded me to be the man I am. I wouldn’t be here Blogging, or helping others, getting involved with ministry, had it not been for the horrible things that happened. Why was I bullied as a child, why did I move around so much, why did I loose so many friends, why have I lost two loves in my life? The answer is never simple, but it was part of the plan. We must not be our own worst critics in defining our future by our past. Make every day a new day and believe in yourself. It’s hard for others to believe in us if we don’t show ourselves the same amount of respect. Don’t let your past define you future. Put your past behind you, and focus on the good you can pull from it. Focus on the stories the testimony you can offer to those struggling through similar times.

After loosing two loves from my life I often feel similar symptoms to a death in the family. Someday my princess will come into my life. Someday I will find a place to build my castle to call Camelot. Someday I’ll find my peace in this world. Someday the battle will be over and God wiling I will be able to make and have my own family. Patience if seems is my biggest fight. I have faith.

Don’t let go, don’t give up because you may have lived to leave behind a great legacy. Don’t stunt your own growth by living in the past. When you live in the past you miss your present, and destroy your future. We only get one shot at this life, and because of it, we need to have fun. Enjoy life, and God will provide for us the fruits of our labor, and replace the suffering with adulation and love.

 

Collateral Damage

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Collateral Damage 

In life we are promised salvation, but we aren’t promised a life without pain or suffering. In my past I have questioned why God would let bad things happen to me, I would question why I was destined for so much pain. The truth is neither simple nor straightforward, but what is clear is that God allows free will to reign on this planet. Other people’s decisions are often the cause of unintended misfortune. The greatest of truths is we have the power to follow the path set before us, to listen to what God wants by paying attention. When we stray from that path we will find obstacles we weren’t intended to face. When others make choices against Gods plan or design we are often the collateral damage. Every day on this planet a hidden war is being waged and there are always casualties in war. We may not be able to see the battles being waged but trust to know it’s real. The battles are for the very annihilation of our salvation to Christ. The Devil wants nothing more to stop as many souls from joining God in heaven. What better way to fight for someone’s soul then to fire as many volleys as you can to constantly push them back, force someone to always be on the defensive. When the Devil gets an edge he won’t quit, he’ll never stop fighting to break the bond between God and you. God has soldiers on this planet. God has chosen people to fight for him, people of faith, who will stop at nothing then to gather and build the flock. He wants his soldiers to follow the 11 Apostles who went out into the world and taught his word. The devil wants to destroy those soldiers and as promised in the Word, to be Christian is to face suffering, to face pain, to be targeted. Our pain is part of the war. We mustn’t let the Devils attacks draw us away from the battlefield. We must remember when we feel outnumbered and we feel like surrender, the words God has spoken. Ephesians 6;12 “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-4 “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.”

22 Veterans a Day

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22 Veterans a Day

 On a daily basis there are 22 veterans on average in this country that commit suicide. The number of veterans who try per day is a number that’s not even known. Sadly the amount of people who die is vastly too many. Why is this an epidemic in our country? The life a veteran lives after the military is never an easy one. It’s full of pain, and loss, and a lack of self worth like few will ever know or understand. What kind of pain can someone feel that would be enough to override the simplest of functions, self-preservation? When the world beats us to the ground, when our value seems to go away the notion of self-preservation is the farthest thing on our minds.

Sometimes it’s a single trauma that can cause enough pain to force our hand. I’m not saying it’s ever right, but I do understand. When you feel you’ve lost everything you once held dear to your heart, everything in your life you rated as being who you were, that loss can be strong enough to wish it all away. As a soldier we are trained to do. We are trained to react and do so without feeling, without questioning the decision, so why not when it comes to our personal lives. The training isn’t like a switch you can turn on and off anytime you wish. What happens is sad, but true. When threatened the brain automatically kicks into fight or flight response. As a soldier our flight response doesn’t usually kick in it’s always fight and never stop fighting. When we feel as if the mission is done, and or lost, that flight kicks in. We are trained to avoid emotional attachments, so when something happens that’s extremely emotionally charged, we don’t know how to handle.

2 Timothy 2:4 “4 No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him.” This of course defines a big problem with today. Soldiers of today’s wars will go from war to home in a matter of a week. This is never enough time to decompress, to deal with the horrible things we face in war. When we get home and the real battle begins so few understand. We struggle to open up and let others know how we feel and what we think, sadly we often fail.

The true nature of the struggles is we just don’t know where to look. There are plenty of people who may not know exactly what we feel, but have struggles of their own. It’s not for us to push people aside. The mission isn’t over it’s just different. When we return, the mission is no longer to seek and destroy the enemy it’s to be there for our fellow brother and sister veterans. We must have faith that whatever battle we face, the battle will not be waged alone.

Psalms 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

Help is all around us. There are people there who are willing to and want to help. If you’re a veteran and having financial troubles there are organizations to help. Facing PTSD there are places that help. It’s just a matter of using the resources that are there for you. Do not place your self worth on a temporary pain. When the mission doesn’t seem so simple anymore, when life seems bigger then we can take, we feel alone, realize we aren’t. What’s one soldier to do when life is so big? When the pain we face every day is a solitary one it’s more likely that we will loose the battle and sadly we can loose ourselves. The only truth that matters is we aren’t alone. The pain we face in basic training is only temporary. Sadly when one war is over and the next begins something about civilian life is harder to face. We feel as if the world no longer cares about us. We feel as if the problems will never go away, but the fact is they will and they do.

Joshua 1:9 “9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” God is always with us. As we may feel alone, we must not loose our faith. If we look hard enough God will always send someone to be there for us when we need it. God expects us to be proactive. God is not Santa Claus, things won’t be gift wrapped and left on the door for us. He will however give us exactly what we need, when we need it. Romans 8:38-39 “38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” No matter the fight ahead, no matter the fight behind we have hope. There will always be hope as long as we remember where to look.

As for me, I know who my friends are. I know where my support is. In the last 8 months my close friends have come out of the woodwork to help me. My close friends have lifted me up, supported me, helped me, talked to me, hugged my neck, called me, written me, and have gone out of their way to help me change my future. I can never thank all my veteran friends, or tell them how much I appreciate or care about them. Faith in the future may not come easily for some, and some days that faith will be tested to the absolute max of it’s limits, but no matter what is going on, PLEASE reach out and let someone know if you need help.

You don’t have to be a victim anymore. Take control of your life and start to live again.

I’ve Got Your 6.

I’d like to dedicate this Blog to a few people very important to me. (Galyn, Tabby, Doc, Brian, David, Paul, David, Michaela, Thacker, Chelsey, Dustin, [just to name a few]) You know why your name is on here.

 

 

Success Ratio

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Success Ratio

 How do we rate our success in life? I used to think my success was in my career, my relationship, my GPA in college, but really I was only hurting myself in the long run. When those things are taken away what does that do to our psyche? For me when my world fell apart I fell apart. I put my faith in all the wrong places. Even as a good Christian boy I didn’t do what I was supposed to.

As I’ve gotten older my priorities have changed. Sadly, as I’ve gotten older the stakes have gotten higher. It’s hard to watch a life fall apart and have faith that tomorrow will be better. As many before me have struggled through life’s difficulties and challenges, I know that I too will not fail to make a new life for myself. I don’t pretend to know or understand the direction my life is going, but I do know no matter where it is my faith in God will be my guiding light.

No matter what hardship you’re having there are some scripture verses that help the wary heart.

Psalm 34:17 “When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.”

 Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

2 Corinthians 1:10 “He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.”

 No matter the troubles, no matter your peril, your shortcomings, the Lord will be with you every step of the way. If depression and anxiety are flooding your ship don’t go into battle alone. Reach out to others and find help. There is always aid; it just takes a little effort to find it. It isn’t a sign of weakness to ask for help, it’s a sign of strength. James 1:12 “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”

We measure our success by 1 Kings 2:3 “3 and observe what the LORD your God requires: Walk in obedience to him, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and regulations, as written in the Law of Moses. Do this so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go” No matter how far we must travel, to Hell and back, remain steadfast in our faithful service to the Lord. Isaiah 41:10 “10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Never give up. Sometimes we may loose, but it’s how we carry ourselves. Sometimes we may give up everything for the ones we care about, and that, is a measure of success worth fighting for.

 

 

 

 

 

ONCE WE WERE SOLDIERS, ALWAYS A SOLDIER.

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ONCE WE WERE SOLDIERS, ALWAYS A SOLDIER.

On September 18th many years ago this young lad stood before a Captain in the United States Army. He rose his right hand, and repeated the Oath of Enlistment. That oath is as follows: “ I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.” What does that mean? Oaths, and solemnly swearing, and of all things to God! Websters dictionary defines an oath as “a (1) :  a solemn usually formal calling upon God or a god to witness to the truth of what one says or to witness that one sincerely intends to do what one says (2) :  a solemn attestation of the truth or inviolability of one’s words The witness took an oath to tell the truth in court.” As a former soldier I took my oath seriously. As circumstances would have it I wouldn’t stay in my position to the term of my contract.

During the time I spent as a soldier I witnessed the forming of a brotherhood. I witnessed laughter, fear, sadness, and unfortunately I even witnessed death and murder. Someone once told me that even though they never served they understand the hardships and trauma that we veterans face. I don’t wish to speak for all veterans, but it annoys me when a civilian says they understand, or worse when they say military life is a choice so the consequences should be thought of and soldiers shouldn’t cry so much about it. For me that oath never went away when I got out. When I got out my mission became helping other veterans. We will never be civilians. Since civilians will never understand, we only have one another. Just because I don’t wear the uniform anymore doesn’t mean I am released from my oath. And it doesn’t mean the mission is over, it’s just changed. The Soldiers Creed says it best and I feel it rings true even after you take the uniform off that last time.

Soldiers Creed

 I am an American Soldier.

I am a Warrior and a member of a team. I serve the people of the United States and live the Army Values.

I will always place the mission first.

I will never accept defeat.

I will never quit.

I will never leave a fallen comrade.

I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills. I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.

I am an expert and I am a professional.

I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.

I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.

I am an American Soldier.

The bold sections are to be paid close attention. What is the mission? When you wear the uniform the mission is whatever you’re told it is. Take the hill, sweep the motor pool, raid this house, and mow this yard. Defeat is never an option. Tactical retreats are one thing, but surrender is never a card to be played on any table. The Devil will task you, test you, and push you to your limits. You must never quit fighting, never quit pushing to accomplish the mission. Today’s mission is brothers and sisters. The fight isn’t over when that uniform comes up. When you get that DD-214 it isn’t the end, it’s just the beginning of a new mission… Reintegration. They want us to fit in with Civilians. Sure some will fit in better then others, some the process is easier then it is on others, but the truth is, once a soldier always a solider. The truth holds true for a lot of veterans that military members don’t like civilians. We are brothers and sisters in arms. We have a bond most civilians will never understand.

The mission today is simple. Love God, Live by God’s word, protect fellow service men and women, raise awareness for Veteran Suicide, help other veterans when they are struggling with life’s hurdles, and live up to the code. Never leave a comrade behind. John 15:13 “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” King David considered to be one of the most beloved war hero’s in the Bible wrote the book of Psalms. Psalms 144:1-2 “Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle; 2 he is my steadfast love and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield and he in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples[a] under me.” Those who train for war see war, see and carry a cross, a burden for which most should never see. War is ugly, and during a war we fight, we serve, we protect our brothers and sisters. Sadly sometimes you can take the man out of the war, but you can’t take the war out of the man. The struggle, the storm often rages on deep inside, though no one can see those scars. Ecclesiastes 3:8 “A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.” Getting to peace is the hardest part. It takes a soldier to be there for a soldier.

Today there will be an average of 20-22 Veteran Suicides. The struggle for veterans across the country to handle and cope with life and finding a new place in this world is the most difficult fight a veteran will face. When we see violence it’s difficult if impossible to remove that horror from our souls. For me, I found my purpose; I found my talent, and my new mission. Never underestimate how important it is to focus your energy on positivity. For each and every veteran who returns home the new mission will be slightly different. No person will be giving you orders in the same way, but listen to God’s direction. Don’t loose hope, and certainly don’t give up the fight. To all veterans, not just the Army, God Bless, and keep up the fire.