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Hope in a Hero

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Hope in a Hero

 John 16:33“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

 Who’s been down to the bottom of the barrel? We all have our struggles and our trials. Have you put your hope or prayers in someone? If you’re anything like me you’ve put your hope and faith in a person and that person dropped the ball. For me, I have been down to the woodshed of life a few times. I’ve been down and broken more then a time or two, but I’ve always managed to get back up. I can honestly say I didn’t get back up on my own. I have struggled with my wounds, and I’ve been struck a time or two. My whole life I wanted a father. My whole life I wanted an earthly father to look up too, someone to teach me what it was to be a man. I have found in my life one man who I had, for a while, then like many others, in the blink of an eye, that man was gone. I placed my faith in a man and when the time came they were gone. I placed my love and faith in a woman and in the blink of an eye she was gone leaving the family broken. My life was shattered and I laid there trying to find who I was. I was a let down to those around me. I was a failure, and a nobody. Recently someone I looked up to told me I was selfish because I needed, wanted a friend to be there for me. Some would say I haven’t learned anything in the last 20 months. While I will admit perhaps it’s true, perhaps I am selfish, perhaps my ex-wife was right and I am a selfish, arrogant, egotistical, narcissist.

I don’t know what I am, and to be honest, I often think my place in this world is a mistake. While I don’t have much faith in myself, I have to believe that God wouldn’t make a mistake. I know Jesus was a hero of man, a savior to be a great gift to humanity when we didn’t, we couldn’t ever disserve it. Jesus was a superhero among men and came with unlimited cosmic power but was no Genie. He came with a big heart and mercy we could never understand.

When the world has beaten me down and I’m covered in the lies, I know I need you. When the days are dark, and I have no faith, I know I need a hero. I wait for a hero and I know, when I pray, just barely a whisper and the hero of the universe hears my cries. I need a hero to save me tonight, and I know that the hero of my dreams will be right by my side. What is a hero, but a savior who comes in the darkness? Someone who saves you from the hopeless and who saves you when the wolves come howling and growling in the night. God is our Hero and the breath of God lives in each and every one of us. Because God lives in each of us, sometimes God calls us to be heroes among men but we are nothing without God. When we look to the Lord we know that through us God will do great things. God calls on us when the time comes to rise above the darkness and shine a light down for others to see. We must not run from God because we already have the second chance and we can’t waste it.

In the universe there is no one stronger, fiercer, more powerful then our God. We sing our praises to the Lord and believe in the power and love of our God. No greater love then our God. If we are to hope we must hope in our God because there is no other true hero. God makes heroes and those who raise up earthly heroes is a hero above all others. God is a healer, a mercy that’s unfailing, a place for the weak, a place to take refuge from the storm. A hero that can calm any storm, restore any soul, but a stopper in death, and a God that is faithful to a covenant that was paid for in blood. My Hero my God that saves me from the darkest of nights, the deepest of holes, and the strongest of oceans, and I am lifted to safety. I lift my hands to the true Hero in my life. I may not have ever had a Dad, but in my Lord I find my Abba, my Father. My father gives me strength. He teaches me how to be a man, and I will not let people tear me down. I will not let the hurtful words break me. If I am wrong I will listen and make things right, but the judgment and approval I seek is that of my one true Abba. I am waiting on my Hero my Lord to save me. I wait through the storm, I will wait through the pain, and I will keep my faith, keep my footing and trust in my service to the Lord while I’m waiting to be delivered from my pain. Please my God, do not let me fail, do not let me fall. Please my God hold me up and hold me tall. I’m waiting for my time my Lord to show me the way out of this darkness. I am not perfect Lord but please give me strength, give me the guidance, show me my path, and I will take the steps in obedience while I wait for you my Lord, my King, my Abba. I’m not worthy, and I never will be, but my Lord I’m waiting, I’m holding out for a hero to save me.

Who Are You?

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Who Are You?

I’ve been putting a lot of thought into labels. “Please Lord Help Me Get One More!” (Pvt Doss) Who are we in the Lord? I have gone one day after another moving through life, and from one day to the next I have gone from one label to the next. I have searched for my place in this world, and growing up I felt lonely. I felt hallow year after year. As time went on I would find myself in labels. I became a vice president of SADD, a boyfriend, an actor, and as time went on a soldier, and a veteran, and a husband. One by one those labels would pass away into memory and would no longer hold any significance in my life. As time moved on and as one by one the label that once defined me became meaningless, just a memory. After my first divorce I never imagined I would ever have to go through that kind of pain or suffering again. As I fell in love and moved towards marriage again, I trusted I wouldn’t be forced to relive that kind of pain. The label I most relate to now, is broken. I’m a two time divorced thirty something year old man, physically broken, emotionally broken, and in between my own moments of clarity, a reminder of how fragile that peace truly is. A lie here, a deceit there, and a broken heart, a hole ripped open and not filled. A wound that heals, and before it’s done, it’s ripped open again. So, who am I, the truth, I don’t know. I don’t honestly know who I am anymore. I’ve been in this fire, this crucible for so long now I don’t know how to get out.

I’ve struggled a long time with heartbreak; I have struggled a long time with a point in time where I got stuck. Some days I feel like I’ve taken such great steps forward, and then without warning, I’m right back there. A record scratched unable to play through the song. I know my pain is real, and yet, I feel like I am weak because I haven’t been able to move forward and radically accept the world as it is, accept my new path, and accept to move forward. I pray daily to the Lord on high to take my pain away, but here I am, so many months later, crying, unable to face the pain I feel deep inside. I feel as if I will break apart over and over if I let myself go. I am afraid of myself, and I’m afraid of what my future might hold if I let the gates open.

The world isn’t a fair and just place. The world is governed by sin, led by the Devil to break us down, to push us and try to sway us away from God. What happens when we suffer in pain? What people go through is horrific, it’s unimaginable, it’s a struggle sometimes just to breath, but what is that pain really mean? Pain is the result of something upsetting the balance of our lives in a negative way. Pain is a change from our comfort forcing to manage an event that is horrible. What happens to people that causes pain is the work of evil. There is no promise to a pain free life. As long as there is free will in the world evil will find a way. Bad things happen to a lot of people, a lot of good people who perhaps the evil things happening is unfair, but we live in a world fallen from grace, and this life, for better or worse is our test. Evil exists in the world because free will allows us to follow our own path, and deviate from the path of God. God is with us every moment of every day in our walk, and yet, when the pain happens the emotions we feel is still very real. We cannot expect to turn them off and pretend like the traumas didn’t happen. There’s something we need to do, something we all must do in order to bring balance, to bring closure, and to move forward.

Who are we? We are men, women, children, fathers, and mothers. We are cooks, and poets, painters, and singers. Craftsman of all kinds whether it be of young minds as a teacher, or protectors of others as military, or police. Whatever we are as a profession, that’s not the label we should identify with. We are children of the king. We are sinners, and we are royalty to paradise. Some choose a path that does not include God. Some choose a path that includes a false idol. We are all judged equally at the foot of the cross, the very spot where blood was spilt to redeem us of our sinful nature. The blood that was spilt bridged the chasm that had existed for so long with a bridge of light and love. Jesus was the sacrifice for the world to break the chains that held us to damnation. I was asked recently how God could make Jesus die on the cross for our sins; God didn’t make anyone do anything. Free will has existed and if Jesus wanted to rule the world as an overlord, he could have. God was Jesus, and took the punishment for sins in a moment of divine separation from God to man. The blood spilt from the cross to the ground covered the earth and released us of the ramifications that sin forever separated the Father and us. Sin remains but we have the choice to follow Christ and allowing the Holy Spirit, which rose from death to cover the world in light. We were bought at a high price, a sacrifice from our father to take upon the punishment needed for sin, instead of having us take that punishment on ourselves. We would never be able to pay the debt needed to wipe away sin. Jesus Christ died for us, to give us a chance at paradise, but we have to make the choice ourselves. One thing with choice, and this may be the hardest thing we will ever do, forgive those who’ve hurt us. Forgive those who have brought pain like we wouldn’t believe is possible. Forgiveness is never excusing someone for his or her actions. It’s never absolving them of the justice that is due, but it brings balance to our hearts when we give up our own selves, and allow God to be the judge of the sinner not us. Sinners cannot judge other sinners. At the foot of the cross each of us is guilty, none of us is deserving of the grace and mercy that was bestowed upon us, but in that grace and mercy comes trust. We go through life with our pain, our struggles, and the only way for us to find true healing and peace is to give it up to God. We were never meant to carry such burdens in our lives and that’s why God wants us to come to him and give them to him. Forgiveness is the hardest thing some of us will ever have to do in our lives. Facing such deep pain, deep anger, deep resentment towards a person or people for the actions that have in some way hurt or wronged us is quite possibly the hardest thing a person can do. Forgiveness is about healing. It’s about finding closure and learning how to move forward with our lives. Vengeance is mine sayath the Lord. We cannot understand how one sin is just as bad as the next, and in our own pain we are faced with a choice, one that we must make every day, move forward with forgiveness in our hearts. “Nobody gets away with anything. Everything here has consequences.”(The Shack) “I’m not asking you to excuse what he did, I’m asking you to trust me to do what’s right, and to know what’s best… ‘then what’ ‘forgiveness doesn’t establish a relationship, it’s just about letting go of his throat.” We get stuck in our pain because we won’t, not because we can’t.

In our walk of forgiveness we don’t have to do it alone. Every day we must learn to say it out loud. We must look at our pain and focus on the grace of God and believe that God is working even in the midst of the worst tragedies of our lives. “I’m still angry.’ Of course you are, no one lets go all at once. You might have to do it a thousand times before it gets any easier, but it will.” (The Shack)

The who is a child of the King. We are blessed with a God who loves each and every one of us in an individual way. We are more then the failures we make, or the wrongs we have done. We are more then whatever labels we have put on ourselves, and we are more then the pain we’ve endured. Don’t let that pain keep your from experiencing love, and joy again. Don’t allow your anger and pain, and guilt to rob you of a life in the love of Christ and others. Find yourself in the grace and love of Jesus. In all things good, and bad, and ugly Jesus said he would always be with us. When we suffer, we do not suffer alone. This life is the test for eternal life. The saying goes, you only live once, and while that’s true, it’s in this life we make choice after choice that will determine where we spend it. Every tear I cry God holds my tears as He’s always by my side. When my strength is almost gone and I wonder how I will carry on, I know, I remember that God is with me, side by side. Though I can’t feel the hand of God, I trust that it’s on my shoulder when I cry alone in a dark room. Having faith when you are broken isn’t easy. Having faith that those who’ve wronged you will be dealt with by Abba, it’s hard to not turn our focus to vengeance. Philippians 3:14“14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” We are called to give ourselves freely to Jesus. We are called to love our neighbors and in that love we are connected.

Every day you wake up is a blessing and a gift. It’s an opportunity to go out into the world and share the good new of Christ with people you meet. Some days, you may wake up and the pain you feel makes your legs led weights and it’s all you can do to get out of bed. When those days happen, just remember that God has chosen you for a purpose. We are many things in this life, but the one that stands above the rest is a warrior for Christ. To be a Christian is to be a soldier for the Lord. As the Lord has chosen different people from all walks of life, it’s sometimes hard to accept that we of all people are chosen for the tasks God has set out for us, but as those before us, God equips us for the mission and we must trust in the Lord to see us through. Judges 6:14“And the Lord turned to him and said, “Go in this might of yours and save Israel from the hand of Midian; do not I send you?” The Lord chose a young man named Gideon and as it happens nearly every time, Gideon told God he’s got the wrong guy. Much like those before me, I have often said God had the wrong guy, that I was a nobody, I wasn’t fit to fill this position, but God sees the whole picture, while we only see a small puzzle piece. We are to inherit the royal kingdom of Heaven, so we are groomed from conception to be a champion.

Never stop believing in yourself. Never stop trusting in the Lord, and believing you are who God see’s you as. We all make mistakes, but if we are a champion, then we can make it through any challenge, we can survive any obstacle, and we will always come out on top because we have the strongest force around, the almighty father. We will all fall into many labels through our life, but the only one that truly matters is the champion for Christ. When we find ourselves low, and questioning who we are, where we have fallen to, or when we are trying to dig ourselves out of the rubble that is our life, we know that the storm is temporary. Heaven is eternity. God’s love and grace is never ending and we need to have faith in the plan we cannot see. Do not listen to the lies of the Devil who will try to make you believe you’re something you’re not. You’re not a looser, you’re not a failure, you’re not worthless. These things are not to be believed. We all fail sometimes, we all fall short of expectations, but that doesn’t mean we are forever in that position. In time we shall rise above, and knowing that Jesus is with us, holding our hand, guiding us, we need to listen to the spirit. Follow the guidance and rise and thrive. That’s who we are, we are warriors, and we never quit.

 

 

 

The Fear He Can Smell

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The Fear He Can Smell

The lion that stalks you in the darkest hours of the night. The storm that springs up from nowhere and tosses you around the sea. But how do you feel when life explodes all around you? The scent that emanates from the deepest parts of your heart when despair is all you know. The snake that slithers around, waiting and watching patiently for that scent to be strong. The Devil, much like the ParaDeomons from Justice League can smell fear. “Fear, they can smell it!” (Justice League) If we are to fight this spiritual war, we must first acknowledge something important, we must face our deepest fears. “You have to let it all go, Neo. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind.” (Morpheus, Matrix) We cannot allow our fears, or our doubts to cloud the truth of Jesus Christ. So many people want concrete proof with their own eyes to believe in a higher power. We can’t give in to our own fears and doubts. We must find our courage to stand tall, and continue to carry on.

“The purpose is to experience fear. Fear in the face of certain death. To accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and one’s crew. This is a quality expected in every Starfleet captain.” (Spock, Star Trek, 09) We will experience fear in our life. There are things we won’t be prepared to face, but the catch is we can turn to God for strength. God will never leave us to make it through on our own. Every day in our life is a test of some kind, and if we are to be the best Christians we can be, we have to learn how to face our fears, and to control them, not let them control us.

I can remember a few times when I was in Iraq I was scared. I remember the fear that would sweep over my body, and the question if I’d make it out alive or not would always creep into my mind. While my training allowed me to stay focused on the task at hand, I always reminded myself that if it was my time, God would take me home, and there wasn’t anything I could do about that. I became comfortable in the knowledge I may not make it home. When you get to the point where you’re comfortable with the idea of death, far less things will make you afraid. In my life today I find I am more fearless when it comes to myself, but when it comes to others fear still makes an appearance. I find now my biggest fears are that of abandonment, a fear of walking this journey alone without a companion. I think for me, this has been my weakness that the Devil has picked up on, and now uses as often as he can. My fear of being alone seems to be something I just haven’t been able to shake. As I watch friends get married, engaged, or have children, I now find myself longing for those things. My life hit a snag and the reset button was hit. Now I am starting over again, and the fear of tomorrows fate scares me. I know through my life as I’ve watched one love after another move on without me, now I’m left fearful of my fate. I do not desire to be alone, and my fear is that I have somehow deserved this fate. I know that my fear is strong in this area of my life. That fear trickles to other parts in my life. The lies whispered to me from the Devil playing on my insecurities my own self worth. I have always questioned my looks, my personality, and wondered why I’ve been alone so often. I have wondered why so many have left me, and while I realize I’m not perfect, I’m not in control of others and their own moral compass. My fears have plagued me for many years, and if I’m ever going to be happy with myself, and if I’m going to find that happiness while on my own, I must acknowledge my fears, and then learn to face them.

We all have fears, but the catch of living this life following Christ is not allowing that fear to dictate our actions. We must walk by faith, not sight. We must trust in the one who gives us our strength, our courage, and trust in the Lord and lean not unto our own understanding. We must believe that the turbulent waters are just temporary, and just around the river bend the calm straight is waiting for us. Do not fall for the lies the Devil will feed us. Fear is a liar, one designed to rob you from your happiness. I’m not talking about the fear that keeps you alive in the face of danger; I’m talking about the fear of moving forward. Trust in the Lord and believe that your salvation is the most important thing, and the rest, if part of the plan, and faithfulness will fall into place. We often want what we want, and if we live in the past, we are telling God you don’t trust him. You’re telling God you’re going to do it your way, and his timing isn’t good for you. Stop letting fear rule your emotions and your actions. Face your fears and come out on top. You are in control, not fear. God is with you always, and for that, there is nothing to fear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peace

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Peace

When I was in the middle of the worst storm of my life I was seen through by Jesus. When I felt like I was being tossed around at night unable to see I was being guided through safe and sound.

I have been in the storm more then once, each time was more dangerous then the next and even when all odds were against me to survive, Jesus was right there with me unwilling to let me die just yet. People often ask me how I can believe in such an old antiquated idea. I recently heard the bible called a ‘nice story’. For me the Bible isn’t just some story, it has historical fact behind it, and more then that the length of time in just the old testament alone would be long enough time that unless inspired by a higher power it’s unlikely those events occur as they did. The prophesy laid down throughout the old testament, and then the coming of the Star of David as fulfilling prophesy wouldn’t have been likely. Astronomy wasn’t exactly a big science back then. Jesus foretold events to come, but even if you claim those parts were made up, who dies protecting a lie? Eleven men, who walked with Jesus for three years would be hunted by the Romans, and other nation’s leaders as they would preach and proclaim the word of Jesus Christ. Each of their eye witness accounts were written and matched one another based on their own backgrounds and points of view. Each man would fall one by one pressured to recant their story, admit they stole the body of Jesus Christ, and out their co-conspirators, yet not one denounced the truth. Who dies horrible, painful, tortured deaths, for a lie?

While it has been 2000 years give or take since the death of Christ, the works of the miraculous haven’t stopped. Most miracles happen and only a small select few know about it, or even say anything, but once in a while the story gets out and raises the question of these events throughout history. One story, a little girl diagnosed with a non-curable disease within her digestive tract, one day this disease will kill her. She’s playing with her sisters on an old tree on their property. She falls into the tree 20 feet and after hours of rescue they are finally able to get her out. Miraculously she walks away with a small bump on the head, not even a concussion. Within days it appears her disease is gone, and her health returned to normal. She had been fighting the disease for over a year. She recounts her experience talking to God and asked if she wanted to go home with her parents. She returned healthy, uninjured.

If this one miracle weren’t enough to sway me, I’d have to look back over my own life. I have several stories from my own past that should have taken my life, but surprisingly I’m still here. 1990, I was on an indoor slide and while at the top I was pushed over the side falling and landing on my neck. The fall probably should have killed me, but I walked away just a little sore. If that weren’t enough to sway me, I would see another miracle on September 12th, 2004. My convoy would be ambushed and my truck and another truck were separated from the group and made to run the gauntlet. 12 RPG’s, countless IED’s, and a hundred or so insurgent soldiers all shooting small arms at two trucks alone on a path designed to trap them. With chance after chance though damage was done, and eventually catastrophic damage, but not before miraculously making back to safety before the truck died when my foot came off the gas. It wouldn’t start again for nearly 6 weeks. Through the whole ordeal I was calm, and while every one else was yelling, I felt safe, at ease, and it came over me like a wave. This wasn’t from any amount of training, this was pure warmth and divine. If that weren’t enough, December 22nd 2004 a 155 round should have exploded just feet from my truck and miraculously didn’t. Had it detonated it’s likely someone if not everyone in the truck would have died. If that weren’t enough I should have died when a bullet went through my shoulder years later. Almost bleeding out, I wasn’t expected to reach the hospital alive. By the grace of God, and a divine encounter I survived waking up in the ambulance to everyone’s surprise. I had lost so much blood I was gray, and with purple lips I shouldn’t have survived the trauma and blood loss. Yet, when I was unconscious I distinctly remember saying, “God I’m Sorry.” And in response a loud, thunderous, booming voice replied, “You’re forgiven.” It was like I was hit in the chest, a jolt of lightning went through me and I awoke in the ambulance. The thing is, they never used the paddles on me. I never flat lined even though I was close. My vitals though low, improved once I regained consciousness. I begged them to let me go, I wanted to go back, but that wasn’t the plan. I didn’t die that day, and since then I have begun this blog, and I have begun to minister to countless others as I now openly discuss my faith. I have had a hand in saving the life of a man thrown from his vehicle in a roll over accident, and I know I have helped others through some very tough times. None of this would have been possible if God wouldn’t have spared my life that late afternoon.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.” For years I would try to find my purpose, and I would feel lost, forsaken by the God that supposedly loved me. For years I would grow in anger and frustration as one bad thing after another happened to me. I would suffer my final loss with my ex wife’s affair finally tipping the scale and pushing me beyond the max of what I could take in my life, or so I thought. I blamed God for the wrongs from people. I had always claimed to have free will, but when it came to others doing wrong against me I wanted to blame God. I constantly felt like my troubles were the result of God being angry and spiteful towards me. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The truth was fear, but not my own fear, fear of the Devil. The Devil attacks those the most with whom he is most afraid. Imagine for a moment the fear he had of Jesus Christ. If Christ could be turned, tempted by the powers of the dark side of the force he would be a failure to God, and would rule as King of the world, but nothing more. Jesus would not be tempted time and time again by Satan, despite his best efforts. Satan knew his time to rule over a fallen world was coming to an end. Lucifer would fail to turn Christ and when Jesus defeated death and rose in fulfillment of the scripture, the only thing Satan would have left was the prevent the human souls from being saved by Christ’s sacrifice. The Devil prowls around now tempting and swaying mankind into hate and despair. The Devil’s desperate final play before the end to stick it to God one last time is preventing as many souls from Heaven as he can.

We live in this world and allow this world to tear us down, to break us in some instances, and yet, we forget the most important part of the story, Jesus already paid our price. All we have to do as easy as it is to say, is make it to the end of this roller coaster we’re on. Life isn’t going to be easy, but if salvation were easy everyone would do it. If giving up ones sinful nature, ones desire to remain in control over ones own life, then everyone could do it, and salvation would loose something. Salvation is a choice, and a choice we have to freely make. I am not a perfect man by any stretch of the imagination, but I know that Jesus loved me so much he gave his life for me. I know God has plans for me and even if I don’t know what they are, I have to have faith. Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” I have tried for many years to do things my way, to walk my own path, and every time I have tried, I’ve failed. I have run for many years from ministry because I always thought God was wrong. I was filled with so much pain and anger, how could I possibly help anyone else? The thing was, God doesn’t want perfection, he uses broken people all the time. Broken people are more real in their stories from what they were, to the healing power of the Holy Spirit. The true power of the grace of God is the redemption of the fallen, the rebuilding of the broken, and the finding of the souls that were once believed to be lost for all time. Through the grace of God anything is possible. The true blessings we have all because of God cannot be understated. While many will argue the nature of divinity, in my experience, seeing is believing.

Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” God knew exactly what he was doing when I was created. He knew my hardships, and he knew the man I would eventually become. It’s his grace that saved me, and his love that would deliver me from the brinks of death. A rare second chance and unlike many who fall back into old ways, I rose above, and though I’m just as boneheaded as I was back then, I strive to better myself. I try to grow in my faith every day and to be a light in such a dark world. If we are ambassadors for Jesus Christ I want to try to put my best foot forward. So long I’ve tried to stand out in the crowd. I’ve tried to make my name be remembered for doing something great. My own goals were not what God had in mind for me. Greatness doesn’t come how many people know you; it comes from the memories you leave behind to those who remember you. I will try to be the best man God wants me to be, and let history decide the rest. We must have faith in the plan, and let go of our own plans. When we allow the father to guide us it takes much of the pressure off on where to go, or what we have to do. We must fall on our faith that God will handle the details, and we just go where he leads us. Faith isn’t easy, but those who walk by faith, while life is no easier, often learn to take life more in stride then others.

We walk in this dark world, and if we are to find peace we must first find hope. How can someone continue to fight if they feel no hope? Where do we find our hope when the world falls down upon our heads? When the Apostils watched in horror as their Lord was nailed to a cross after being brutally beaten, they were crushed in spirit. They were utterly without hope, but after 3 days the blood debt was paid, the victory lap had been made, and Christ would rise and make himself seen fulfilling the prophesy and destroying deaths hold over the sinner for all eternity. What hope is there do you ask? While the living God is still on the throne there is always hope. Those who dwell in the dominion of Hell have been pushed back as the blood spilt bridged the gap from sin to God. Where we have hope in Christ we have light, and while there is light we will always have peace. The love of God that lights up the darkness is all we’ll ever need. A heavy price was paid, and we have the only thing that will ever matter, the love of the father.

The Kindness of Strangers

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The Kindness of Strangers

A few days ago I was visiting an old colleague at Walmart. I wasn’t going to go originally but while I was in Hawaii I got a gift for them. After walking around the store for a while we went out to the parking lot. I wasn’t in the parking lot for more then just a few minutes when a truck pulls up. The man inside grabs my attention and asks me to come over to the vehicle. He wishes me a Merry Christmas after putting up his fist. I expected a fist bump but he grabbed my wrist and turned my hand over. He extended his hand and places something in my hand. I thank him not knowing what I was handed and he drives off.

I’ve asked myself what I may have done to deserve such a gracious gift. I was wearing my Cavalry Hat with a 2nd ID pin. I had my service dog with me, and perhaps that’s why I was chosen, or perhaps as I told my associate pastor, “A nod from God, an atta boy.” You see, I have been giving money to my church for a family in need. I’ve been doing it a few months now, and it seems every time I have something amazing has happened to me within a few weeks. The saying goes “you can’t out give God.” These days that seems to be absolutely true.

The man gave me a $100 bill. It’s a generous gift and one I don’t feel I deserved or earned. One I intend on paying forward though. That is the nature of Christmas isn’t it? Good will towards your fellow man. We are the tip of the spear for the Lord. We do the Lords work. We fight the good fight against the wiles of the Devil. When we give without selfishness or unrighteous reasons, we stand up to the Devil who wants us to forsake the weak, forget the hurting, and focus on just ourselves. 2 Corinthians 9:7 “Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, [so let him give]; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.” We must follow the Holy Spirit within our hearts and know that we that give and be good stewards of what we’ve been given. Know that all gifts are gifts from above. Proverbs 11:24-25 “One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.” When we give as God commands we are rewarded in full. The Kindness of strangers is a nice gentle reminder that God’s still there looking out for us. Don’t forget the reason we have what we do and that’s because God loves us. God gave us his only Son to grow as one of us, and be the innocent blood spilt for our sins.

We have a duty, an obligation to Love, and to give, to spread the love to our neighbors. It’s not an easy thing to live day to day under the attack from the Devil, but when we are given the opportunity to give to strangers, when we receive gifts from strangers, keep the love alive.

December 7th

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December 7th

The morning of December 7th the Empire of Japan attacked Pearl Harbor. The aftermath was 2008 sailors killed and 710 wounded. 218 soldiers and airmen killed, 109 marines killed, not counting civilians killed, all in all 2403 Americans lost their lives and more then a thousand wounded. The attack on our nation was bond to happen and sadly it was a shot in the dark, a sucker punch that would leave us limping and bleeding, but we always get back up.

From the ashes of that attack the country rose up together and together we were stronger then before. We are always stronger together then when we are driven apart. In today’s world the Devil wants us to turn against each other because like a lion chases the wildebeest they always go for the one separated from the group, they are weaker apart. When we are alone we can become easy pray for the Devil. Alone we are weak, we become scared, and we are more likely to fall and listen to the lies of the devil.

Like the phoenix that burns and is reborn in the ashes, we too can be reborn through our worst days. On days like today we honor those who served and sacrificed for that service. On today’s date oh so many years ago thousands of people suffered tremendous losses and I feel it’s only right that we remember. This time of year such violence is difficult because it being so close to the holiday will make the holiday forever stained. It can be difficult to live with such pain. The brave men and women who fought to survive, and fought to protect other innocent people should be deemed as heroes.

While we remember this date in history as being a major turning point in our nations history, let us also remember those who still put everything on the line to defend or protect us in this country. It’s never an easy thing to work on holidays, or give up special occasions, but someone has to do it. Hospitals need to run, and fires can start anywhere and at anytime. People don’t stop hurting others and police are never off duty. So please on today’s memorial, let us think of those who not only lost their lives, but those who are still serving every day.

 

 

Circle the Flame

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Circle the flame

Sometimes we get caught in our own prisons. We are drawn to the pain when that’s all we know anymore. We circle it like a moth to a flam. Unable to pull away but we either need to pull back or we get burnt.

When we spend so much time in struggles sometimes the struggle is all we know. I’ve seen it in soldiers who go back over and over again to war. The old phrase goes a war junkie. Sadly that expression isn’t far from the truth. It’s not war you fall in love with, it’s the feeling of purpose, it’s the feeling of being needed, and it’s the adrenalin high you get during your missions you eventually get addicted too. Many soldiers when they return find themselves idle and unsure of what to do with themselves. They feel like something is missing in their life and they seek the excitement of their lives, the brotherhood that’s now long gone. Many people find themselves getting into extreme sports when they return. Sports like speed racing, skydiving, bunji jumping, rock climbing, anything they can find to get that euphoria that adrenalin makes you feel.

There’s also a sense of belonging that subsides when you are away from your brothers and sisters. A connection with people that once you are out of the military is surprisingly hard to come by. As for myself, I’ve searched for many years now to find a new group of friends to replace the military family I once had, and instead all I’ve received is isolation. Making new friends isn’t easy anymore. Finding common ground with people isn’t easy, and sometimes it takes a long while to build a connection.

There’s a line from my favorite show Arrow “Sooner or later, we all go through a crucible. I’m guessing yours was that island. Most believe there are two types of people who go into a crucible. The ones who become stronger from the experience and survive it, and the ones who die. But there’s a third type. The ones who learn to love the fire and choose to stay in their crucible because it’s easier to embrace the pain when it’s all you know anymore.” (Sabastian Blood) I myself have always found it hard to relate to others after my time in the service. Though the missions were hell, and there were days I hated life, it seemed strange to return to life when I no longer recognized that life.

We in the military spend so much time training to be someone else, something else, but when it comes time to returning to civilian life it’s only a matter of days from soldier to civilian. Learning how to be a civilian again for some happens quickly, for others never at all. Sadly for many veterans the return to civilian life is so traumatic it eventually ends with suicide. Christmas time is hard on veterans. So many are suffering with loss, with PTSD, with homelessness, and while many of us are enjoying our morning of trees, music, gifts, and warmth, many veterans are just trying to find their one meal for the day and a warm place to lay their head. A matter of perspective to know that while we should enjoy our time away from the fire, there are some who are still in the flames.

We cannot circle the flames forever. At some point we need to break free and move forward. We don’t want to get caught in the burning flames so we need to find a way out. We cannot stay in the crucible forever and we need to learn to focus ourselves better. God expects us to fight the fight, and also expects us to love and give. As man it’s hard to juggle sometimes, so we must turn to the words God left for us to find our course. Romans 13:4 “For he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer.” We must fight when we must fight, but when it’s time for peace we must learn to also be the peacemaker. We must love all the time, and be just. When we find ourselves focusing on what God wants us to do, we will find we can be far more adaptable. Listen to the voice of truth and find your path.

If you’re a veteran and your circling the fire and you cant seem to break free, find help. Don’t try to do it alone. It’s a dangerous game staying in your crucible forever; instead find your escape back into life. Let yourself live, and let yourself love again. There is life after war, there is life after tragedy. For families who’ve lost their loved ones, for wives who’ve lost their husbands, for kids who’ve lost their parents, life will move on. Don’t let the tragedies you’ve suffered been in vain, instead use it to help others, find a way to share your story, and inspire others to persevere and move forward. Tomorrow will come if we are ready or not. Embrace it, and never forget tomorrow God’s still on the throne.

 

Veterans Day Nov 11th

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Veterans Day Nov 11th

So many years ago, a young boy looked to the future and saw the stars and stripes. A young boys dream to wear the flag, and fight for this nation would be realized at the age of 19. Basic training was a challenge and tested the emotions and pushed the physical ability to the max. Nothing ever goes how we plan, but as far as experiences in service goes, mine could have been much worse. I started my service at Fort Knox Kentucky, and after 21 weeks I took the long flight to Korea. I was stationed at the small camp of Camp Hovey. I chose Korea as my duty station of choice to try and get some good training before deploying to Iraq. I knew I was going to go, but I knew Korea was a hardship duty tour so they didn’t deploy to a combat theater.

Three months into the tour of duty the word got out that for the first time in 50 plus years the units from Korea would again deploy. In our case the entire unit wasn’t just deploying, but was being moved out of Korea. The deployment would be quick, and much of our training would be split between the Korean training facility and Kuwait. A short visit home and then training, and then the long flight to the desert the dream would become very real very fast.

While the time in Iraq was both terrifying and awesome at the same time, the bible I carried in my breast pocket was a constant reminder that the Lord was with me always. When the bullets started flying, the bombs started to explode around me, the Lord’s protection was always there.

We fight for what we believe in. As for me, I fought because I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to take the fight away from the backyards of those I cared for. I wanted to gain worldly knowledge and build a better life for myself. I wanted to build a better tomorrow for the kids I would hope to have one day. While life never goes according to our plan, sometimes what we’re left with is far more beautiful. While Iraq wasn’t a spring day in the park, it was a learning experience, a growing experience. While not every experience was a positive one, in fact there were many experiences that now haunt me in my dreams, but the growth and life altering views, gave me a broad scoped worldview.

Fighting for those who you left behind, from family, to a woman, a man, your kids, anyone you care about is only part of the equation. While you start of as strangers fighting the fight also turns into fighting that fight for the brothers and sisters to your left and right. The brothers and sisters you gain while in the service will often last a lifetime. In that time you grow close, close enough that you would often lay down your life for your friends. John 15:13 “13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” We fight for those next to us. Politics, world problems, all go out the window when the bullets start flying. While in the pursuit of peace the table gets messy. Politicians make plans, soldiers live in the real world. The real world is messy, bloody, and ends in nightmares after dark. We bare our cross so others don’t have to. Veterans day is a day to honor those who have fought and served this great nation. We fight so the freedoms this country stands for can be upheld.

Upon each soldiers entry to the military an oath is sworn.

I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.”

We must remember that when we swear an oath it’s our word, and our word should be our bond. Our heart should be pure in our intentions. 1 Kings 8:61”Let your heart therefore be perfect with the Lord our God, to walk in his statutes, and to keep his commandments, as at this day.” I was 19 years old when I swore my oath to the United States, and even though I’m no longer active duty, or reserved, or connected in any way to the military, I uphold that oath is just as important today as it was when I first raised my hand. To all those before me, and all those after me, I salute your sacrifice and service to the greatest nation on earth.

 

 

 

 

The Longest Yard

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The Longest Yard

 September 12, 2004 a day that rings out in memory every year. No matter the time that’s passed the vivid memory floods back every year.

DSC01025The crisp morning air and sun shines down on the empty streets of Ar-Ramadi. The mission starts led by my primary truck. I am the second truck in the convoy and the mission is simple, the scouts provide the quick reaction force in congruence with the Marines that would be doing the door to door raids of several blocks of apartment buildings. While the mission seemed simple the fact is the mission didn’t go according to the plan. Crossing the bridge over the Euphrates River the city looked abandoned. The hair on the back of my neck stood up and as we made the right turn at the fork. The sound came over the radio “IED IED IED!” I saw it, and blew past. The procedure was go out 100 meters, create a perimeter and let the guys in EOD do their thing. Before we made it to the 100 meter mark the truck in front of me disappeared in two massive explosions and smoke, dust, sand, and shrapnel flew into the air causing the road beyond to vanish from sight. From what I knew it looked like the truck had been destroyed. It was at that moment the bullet hit my door and the following moments slowed down. The screams from within the truck of orders and commands, information of targets, directions of travel, and the sounds of gun fire from both overhead and in the distance being directed towards the two trucks.

The 15 minutes of hell on earth left a lasting impression. The half a dozen RPG’s fired towards our location, the battle damage the two trucks endured from the bullet’s, IED’s, and RPG’s was extensive. While my truck took the majority of the damage ending with little to no fluids remaining, blown tires, a loss of power steering, and a main weapon that had a catastrophic failure in the middle of the firefight, the result was clear, God was looking out for the 1/9 scouts that day. While there were several close calls and even after we were credited with several kills, not one of the scouts was wounded that day. No matter how many times I’ve tried the images of that day have stayed with me. We were blessed that day and no amount of luck will ever be able to stand toe to toe with blessings.

DSC01132

We often look back on our lives with 20/20 vision, and within that we start to question our path. I should have done that, or I could have done more, and any combination therein. In our daily walk we have to learn to trust in ourselves to know we made the best decision possible with what we knew at the time. No matter what problem we are left facing there will always be opinions of a better way to handle it, there will always be questions as to why we did what we did, or why we felt the way we felt, but the truth is, it’s easy to criticize anyone. We will never be free of second guessing, and especially when we see so much failure in our own life, we must learn to let it go. We cannot save everyone. We cannot always save ourselves. We can’t allow ourselves to be overcome with desperation, with sadness, with helplessness, and we must always realize that the past is cemented for all eternity, thus forcing us to do only one thing, and that’s learning from the past.

Remember everything we go through, all the pain, the suffering, and even so much as the good things in our life are just building experiences. When I was a supervisor in security and there would be an event that took place after the excitement was over, the paperwork was done, I often sat down with my officers and did an AAR or After Action Review. I asked them what they thought they did well, and what things they would change, but more importantly what could be learned to improve on for the next emergency or disturbance. No matter what we face in our world we know that God is always with us and we need to have faith in that. We must remember that we are a broken people but there is hope, the light of Christ. While we will make the best choices we can to ensure they truly are the best we must be walking in the light of Christ. Don’t loose sight of the compass that points to God. Have faith in God and our daily choices being made with the thought of ‘What Would Jesus Do’ will allow the scrutiny to be at a minimum.

Sometimes in the dark, sometimes when life is heavy and we can’t get away if feels like that last yard is a mile away. Let me reassure you that no matter the distance you have yet to go, the journey doesn’t have to be yours alone. The distance may seem more then you can go, especially when you feel like you can’t take another step. God will grant you strength to get by on your own, and if the strength isn’t granted to you, God will put someone in your path that will help you bare your cross. Don’t allow the past to dictate terms in your life, and don’t allow today’s problems to weigh you down so much you can’t walk. There’s no shame in asking for help, sometimes that’s exactly what we need and it’s exactly what’s expected.

 

 

Hiding in the Shadows

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Hiding in the Shadows

As a Christian do you consider yourself a child or an adult in your faith? If you’re a Christian do you use your bible or does it gather dust during the week between services? If you’re a Christian do you stand up against injustices? If you’re a Christian do your fellow coworkers and neighbors know? If we became persecuted how many would stand out on that faith and take whatever punishment fit the crime? Now that I’m sure most of you just lied, we’re going to get into the persecuted church today. Christ says “You will be persecuted, but I will be with you always.” North Korea, India, Africa, Iraq, and many, many more countries are not just persecuting Christians around the world, they are committing genocide. A man named Father Douglas a priest in Iraq has been shot, kidnapped for 9 days, his church was blown up, and during his captivity he was tortured. Even after all his troubles Father Douglas still fights the fight for Christ. He still serves in Iraq for Christians despite the dangers to his life.

Franklin Graham “We as Christians we need to wake up, if we don’t do it now, it’ll be too late.” As the attack on Christianity has been on the rise over the years as Father Douglas stated, America needs to say the truth, the truth is Genocide. What would you do if the men with the Kolishnakov’s come lookin for the man with the Bible? Do you throw the Bible out the window, or do you hide under the bed? Do you continue to fight the fight despite the risk, or do you deny Christ? Grace Wesley:” I would rather stand with God and be judged by the world, than stand with the world and be judged by God.” In so many places in the world now, the Christian church has gone underground. Much like Christianity in the early days of the church meeting in the Catacombs of Rome to continue preaching and teaching, but doing so in secret. You can’t preach and teach if you’re dead. It’s easy to grow hatred in your heart, it’s harder to love, but to follow the Jesus way, we know that when we are facing trials, and facing persecuted God is with us, heart breaking with us in prison. As I heard recently, It’s better to be in prison and be tortured, then being in two prisons, when we hate we not only have our prison of our bodies, but a prison for your mind. Loving our enemy is not easy. As I have experienced war as a Christian I was fighting those who hated us just because of our religion. Watching my friends die at the hands of radical Muslims I struggled to find peace in forgiveness. I struggled to pray for my enemy. I struggled not to hate.

Christianity is under attack in our great nation and sadly people don’t realize the truth. As we hide behind the lies of tolerance, we are not truly living in a world of tolerance. Christians are not aloud to pray, we aren’t aloud to even utter the name Christ in school. We have found many loose their lives, their jobs, their friends, and as time continues we find that even TV shows that have a spiritual basis are challenged and eventually removed. Remember Rachel Scott the first victim in Columbine High School. She was shot because of her faith in Christ and she refused to step aside from that faith. We’ve seen around the world these attacks by radical factions grow in strength and in courage as they find inspiration upon each attack. When we can no longer say Merry Christmas, have Christmas parties, or even have religious holidays off such as Easter, we know we are moving in a particular direction. There have been several states or cities that have made it a requirement that the Church preachers hand over their sermons for review. Why are we allowing the government to dictate terms for the church? How many court cases has their been about religious freedoms in these many years? The 10 commandments case that went in front of the Supreme Court and lost. The attacks on schools for saying the pledge of allegiance all because it references God. Even within the military there is supposed to be no open prayer anymore.

Where do you stand, what line are you on? Do you stand with Christ and shout to the world that you will not be bullied and convinced to stay quiet, or do you conform to the world and stay silent and allow your God given rights to be trampled on and taken away? How many college commencement ceremonies have gotten rid of the benedictions? Stand up and fight back. Fight to educate those around about the persecuted church. Fight back for the rights to pray when and where we want. Fight back to preach how we want without having to answer to a faceless government, and never forget that what God gives us, God can also take away.