Blog

A Miracle for my Heart

A Miracle for my Heart

It’s been so long now, and while I feel beaten, I feel bloody, I feel broken, I know that you still want me my Lord. I know that while in this life my body may fail, my heart may be broken, and the scars I have may not make me attractive to others, but to you, I am beautiful. I trust in you my God to use me how I am. I trust in you that you want me for the man I am, and if I am obedient, if I am faithful to you, you will bless me when my day comes.

My God, it’s been so long now and I feel lost some days. I feel as if I am trapped in a dark room unable to find my way out. I sing praises to you my Holy King of all Kings. I know that the sun dawns every day, the darkness falls, and I am still here on this earth breathing. I trust in you and trust there is just cause for my unanswered prayers. You’re rich in love my Lord, and I must remember to trust no in my own understanding, but to trust in you alone. While I feel like I am walking in the shadows, I know I have walked in the valley of death, and here I stand. I have lain in green pastures, which you have blessed and allowed my life, my love the flourish. I have seen so much death, and yet lived so little.

The darkness tries to lie to me. It tries to cheat me, and promise me so much, but I know the truth. It’s been so long since I felt the light, and I fear I’ve forgotten the warm of love. The path seems so dark and with the fog of war covering my eyes, I close them to trust in you my Lord. I know that my decisions of old haunt me. All I can say is I know my Sins are forgiven, and I’ve been set free from the mistakes of yesterday. I’ve been stuck and I pray to be set free. I don’t want to go back, I don’t want to be in the purgatory of my own mind. I trust in you my Lord, and let this new upcoming year be something special. I pray to put this behind me and move forward, new, washed clean, and unburdened.

I know I’m not strong enough to be everything I need to be. I know that I am nothing without you my Lord because I’m weak on my own. I know that through Christ I can do all things. I don’t have to be alone in this world and I pray you my Lord would see it fit to end that period in my life. I pray you give me the guidance to better my life, to find a better purpose. I don’t know what else I can do, but I know you have the power to change things for me. My God my God, please change my life.

The Cold Chill

The Cold Chill

The weather outside is frightful, the cold frigged air has settled in, and the heavy coats and hats have come out of storage. The high today is less then 30*, the low is around 10*. What if the weather isn’t the only thing cold these days?

Have you ever felt as if you were getting the cold shoulder from someone? What about God, have you ever felt you’ve been getting the cold shoulder from God? We will look at scripture and deal with the cold shoulders from friends.

When God is silent there is a reason. In some situations God will allow us to run the course we’ve set. He will give us the chance to come back to Him on our own, and of our own free will. Isaiah 57:11 “Of whom were you worried and fearful When you lied, and did not remember Me Nor give Me a thought? Was I not silent even for a long time So you do not fear Me? When we sin and we sin often with no repercussions we become complacent to the words of the Lord. We fear nothing, and we fear no one. The problem is “The bill comes due… Always.” (Dr. Strange) No matter how long we keep the tab open, eventually we need to close out. God will allow us to rack up the tab without interference. Psalm 50:21 “These things you have done, and I have been silent; you thought that I[c] was one like yourself. But now I rebuke you and lay the charge before you.”

God even silent is always with us. God will never forsake you, and he will never abandon you. God is not like man, whereas man will leave you, forsake you, lie to you, cheat you, and hurt you, God will always love you. No matter what you may be going through, if it’s of your own doing, or someone else’s, God is always with you. It may be hard to stomach when friends fail you. It’s hard to know that maybe your friends don’t reciprocate the same feelings. It’s hard to realize you may feel more strongly about your friends then they do towards you. You won’t always feel the same about people that they do you. Our lives may lead us to feel more deeply for our friendships for one reason or another. Yes it is hard when you go day after day and your friends don’t reach out to you. It’s hard to be on your own. It’s hard to feel like you have no one to turn to, to spend time with, but know that while that may be the case, God is always with you.

You may be alone on this world today, but we never know what we will have tomorrow. It’s not easy to live feeling alone. Loneliness is a dangerous feeling. These feelings can spawn questions of your hope, but you need to resist the lies of the deceiver. When you’re feeling alone, and feeling down, you need to ask God for guidance. You need to get up and get out, finding your new place in this world. The struggles we face may be hard in the moment, but we have to keep pushing forward.

 

The Absolution

The Absolution

A year without many positive changes, the drowning above the land, and the wandering soul that hasn’t found a path, and it all boils down to absolution. Could this year of pain, of aimlessness be a year of punishment for wrong doings? I have thought long and hard about how it is I’m feeling, and as I have come to a point in my life, I know in my heart this feels right. Isaiah 24 speaks of God’s wrath and punishment towards Israel. God is the Abba and we are the children. When children make mistakes we can expect punishment. This is out of love not hate, not spite, but the need to show children the error of their ways. For our actions we will always reap what we sow. Galatians 6:7-10 Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. 10 So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. When we are sent to the corner to think about what we’ve done we need to reflect on the reason for the punishment. We cannot hope to move forward unless we learn our lesson, lest we be punished again, or continued. Galatians 6:1-2 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

 It’s important to remember that God isn’t spiting you, but it’s a punishment for wrong doings. The key is though, did you do something wrong to earn that punishment. It’s one thing to be caught up in the idea of punishing for wrong doing, it’s another entirely to understand people sin every day and sometimes you’re caught in the middle, that doesn’t place blame upon yourself. In the movie Miracles from Heaven the mother is told her daughter’s condition is a result in the mother and fathers sin. This is of course absolutely not the case, and in no way is scriptural. Sometimes bad things just happen. Sometimes we are going off track and we need to be nudged back on. Sometimes God’s plan is bigger then we can ever know. How events are used in our life may not seem fair to us, it may not even feel just, but we are told in scripture that in this life as a Christian we will suffer, but we are also promised the greatest tomorrow we could ever hope for.

It’s never easy to stomach the lessons we sometimes have to face. We want life to go smoothly, and we want to avoid the pain and suffering that comes hand in hand with life. While I may be, undergoing punishment for my actions, I know one day God will end my suffering, and move me to a new chapter in my life. In the mean time I sit with my nose against the wall (sort to speak), and I seek redemption and penance for my mistakes. Continue to do God’s work, and find how you can serve. In every situation there are opportunities to serve the great I AM, and when we serve we may find what we were looking for all along.

 

 

The Morning After

The Morning After

Christmas is over, and the hype is now the biggest return day in the world. Now as we start to settle down from all the parties the pressure is off and once everything is returned or exchanged (which I have none of). For some the parties will continue for another few days, big families, but for the most part, now it’s time to look towards the future. I think so many people get wrapped up in the gifts and when that turns into the new focus, we forget very quickly that our Savior is still diligently fighting the forces of evil. The man who was born and died for us, is still on the throne, and we returned to our lives so quickly and we should be reminded to stop taking the focus away from God and put it back where it needs to be.

Matthew 25:34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:” The kingdom is ours if we follow Christ. If we believe in Him with our whole heart, and we turn our back on the desires of the flesh, the sinful craving. Let go of the nonsense of the stuff you got, the meaningless junk, that yes while nice today it will fade in time and mean nothing later. You can’t take it with you.

Enjoy the gifts God has given to you, which is the greatest gift we could ever hope for. The gift that we can have for all time, a baby born, to grow, to love, to suffer, and yet even after death would rise and fulfill the prophesy and forever break the divide between father and son. Our Abba, the father of all things, loves us so much he gave his only begotten son, and we should be eternally grateful. Enjoy the time with family, enjoy the nice things you got this year given out of love, but enjoy the name Jesus more then all. Let Christmas be in your heart today, and all year because without it, we have nothing to look forward to, no hope, no tomorrow.

Christmas Day

Christmas Day

It’s Christmas day and our Savior was born. A baby boy lay in a manger to live a life we could understand and relate to. A man he would become to save us all from our very real sin. We honor him today and we praise Hallelujah. A sweet baby boy that would save us, give us the greatest hope we would ever need, salvation. A fate we never deserved, one we could never repay, but that’s what true love is. True love is something given freely without expectations of anything coming in return. True love endures all things, hardships, sickness, bad times, and everything else. We never deserved the gift we were given on this day so many, many years ago, but here we are, celebrating the greatest event that would ever take place in human history.

Families may drive you crazy, friends may loose their way, people are people who are flawed and sometimes weak. No mater what happens in this world, one thing is incontrovertible, love must overpower the darkness. On that night 2000 years ago the silence broken by a newborn’s cries would bring the biggest gift of love we’d ever have. No matter the hurt or pain you feel, let love be the guiding light tonight. Like the star of Bethlehem many years ago, let Christ be the light that shines brightly on this day. No matter the issues we have forgiveness is so important for us to find peace.

Christmas is a celebration of peace, not from war, but peace in knowing that tomorrow is no longer hopeless. Faith is not always easy, and love can be just as hard sometimes, but no matter the challenges one might face, the end of the day, Love is the only hope we have. Loving your neighbor, loving your enemies, and above all, loving yourself is what we need to learn to do. Love God above all things, and your pure of heart towards God will be returned in full always. Set aside your differences, your struggles, for today is a day of renewed peace, and of good will towards all.

Merry CHRISTmas to all this day, may you find love, give love, and experience joy on this day. Keep the faith and the light alive. Live and love, and never loose hope. Today that child broke the chains of darkness so we could live with our head held high, and a hope that would never die. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve

Mary a poor women with a hard working husband Joseph traveled long and far to return to their homeland for the census required by Herod. Herod was a powerful man, a king paranoid to loose his power and up till the magi’s prediction of the coming messiah he had killed most of his family and advisors he felt were a danger to his seat of power. Matthew 2:1-12. Mary mother of the savior would have no room to stay in, nothing but a pile of hay to give birth in, certainly not a place one would think of today. The child that would grow into the man who would one day take away the sins of all the world of past, present, and future. The child, a foretold king would experience life for all it was, both good and bad. The Christ child would hold the fate of eternal souls in his hands. The silent night that would be broken after 400 years of silence with no sign or sights from God the Heavenly Father. A baby would break the silence and forever change the world as we know it. No night of past or future would ever be as important as the one taking place that very night. While many complain that Christ wasn’t born in winter, that December 25th isn’t the true date of birth for the Savior, I question and say does it matter? December 25th is the date every year we throw a birthday party for the child, the perfect lamb that would allow the divinely blood to be spilt to extend the bridge to God.

A birthday we celebrate gets lost in the capitalism, the worldly pressures to make the perfect Christmas. We spend so much time focused on the gifts, the shopping, the decorations, the parties, so many things that get in the way of the one thing we fail to recall, the true meaning of Christmas. A baby born that would “save us all from Satan’s power.” There is so much controversy over the Christmas holiday, but have no mistake, it’s a birthday party, a celebration to remember the only reason we have to be joyful. Without the baby boy we sing songs about there would be no reason to be happy, to have joy, to have the most important thing of all hope.

It’s said you can survive 3 minutes without air, 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food, but only seconds without hope. Hope is the most powerful thing on the planet. We love because we have hope. Hope is what makes love possible. We are not doomed to spend all eternity in Hell because of that hope, the hope we have is because God loved his children so much He would come forth and sacrifice his earthly self. How humbling to know that God would choose a life of poverty, of hardships, just to make it possible for us to relate to the Father. We cannot say we stand-alone because no one understands us when Jesus lived a full life just… almost like any of us. On that night in Bethlahem we sing praises of our salvation. We sing songs that praise the coming of the King, a King not of this world, but of the world beyond our sight and understanding.

Christmas Christ’s Mass or (Mass = Receiving of Eucharist) (Christ = Messiah) Once you look at the full term it’s the Messiah’s Eucharist. When looking at the first visitors Christ had on his birth, the Sheppard’s who were tending the cities sacrificial lambs, would lay eyes on the last to be sacrificed. We should find joy in this time of year because if we scrape away the worldly issues, the shopping, the gifts, the parties, the stresses, we are left with the one true meaning, Christ the Messiah, born to cleans the bonds of sin, to wipe the slate clean, and truly allowing us to have a relationship with our Heavenly creator.

Luke 2:7 7 “and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.” On this Christmas let go of the distractions and get back to the true meaning of CHRISTmas. It’s a birthday and we should treat it as such. Enjoy the party with friends and family, and let go of all the silly nonsense that just gets in the way of the truth.

The Will to Live

The Will to Live

The bullet goes through him and bounces around on the inside. He looks at death and stands face to face. The world is a dark place full of scary monsters that always want to get you down. Life isn’t usually fair, and it’s not nice, but life isn’t about the lollipops and 24/7 fun. Life is about growth, and to grow you should expect failure. “The greatest teacher, failure is.” (Yoda) This isn’t just some Hollywood magic, but scripture brought to the big screen. Romans 5:3-5 “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” We fall so we can learn to get back up. We fail so we can learn to succeed. We crumble so we can reach towards God and ask for the strength to carry on. We look to God for answers when we don’t understand. We draw strength through our faith in the Lord above.

We sometimes find ourselves just floating in the ocean, not swimming, not going anywhere, but we aren’t truly living our lives if we’re standing still. We have to find a way to push through the glass. “Forward… Always… Always… Forward” (Luke Cage) We are often like an old record with a scratch in it, we just loop the same few seconds over and over in our lives. Traumas can do that to a person. We live, we wake up every day, but what do we do with it? In 1 Peter 5:10 “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” When we suffer we don’t want to stay in our suffering, but sometimes something gets broken. It’s difficult to repair the damage sometimes. Sometimes we don’t know how, and we try to fix it all by ourselves. The thing is, we aren’t alone, we don’t have to do it by ourselves. The problem is when we run from the pain instead of embracing it and learning to live with the pain by being in control of it, instead of letting it control us. John 16:33 “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

When we don’t know how to do something we learn, we teach ourselves, or we are taught. We move through life learning new things, often every single day. If we have done had to do something how are we expected to know what to do or how? Many people consider therapy to be a sign of weakness, but I challenge that notion. When we struggle with trauma, or something incredibly hurtful, we don’t know how to handle it. We suffer through it and it often damages aspects of our day-to-day life. We push those we love away, our job performance suffers, we recluse yourself and struggle to find the balance needed to be productive, and healthy. Romans 8:18 “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” I would say that those who turn to cutting, suicide, or substance abuse forgot long ago how to reach out. Are we reaching for the Lord in our time of sorrow? Are we reaching to people who can help us? Sometimes in our own suffering we can’t see through the fog of life. “Living is not for the weak.” (Arrow)

2 Corinthians 4:8-10 “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.” Using the tools we have by finding people in life who are willing to help us is part of living. Again we aren’t always taught how to do something, and that isn’t just exclusive to fixing cars, dry walling a house, or dealing with extreme physiological stresses. Don’t suffer alone, because you aren’t. God will always give you someone to turn to, someone to help you, even if you must find it in the most unlikely of places. The shadow’s of doubt and dismay may lurk behind every angle but when you look to the snow, you won’t see anything but your own footprints. While the Devil is nipping at your heals trying to bury you in the ice, God’s Angels are always there watching over you. You only say the word and you putting your faith in the Lord you will be renewed and strengthened. Psalm 91:2-4 “I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.”

 

From the outside

From the outside

Sometimes it’s a struggle watching the world form the outside looking in. What’s even worse is sometimes you’re on the inside and you can’t see the world at all. It’s been so long since I felt like I was making a difference. This last year is never without a challenge for me to wake up every morning, pull up my big boy pants and continue to fight the fight every day.

It’s hard to get out of bed some days. Some days I struggle to find the motivation to do much of anything. With each passing day I am forced to face my demons. With every hour I face my fears. Some days I emerge the victor, other days I fall in defeat. The thing is, it’s not about if you have days where life’s brought to your knees. If you’re on your knees then praying is what you should be doing.

The Lord will give you strength when you feel weak. The Lord will give you courage when you feel afraid. The Lord will give you stamina when you feel tired. The Lord will provide you shelter when it’s cold outside. Troubled times will be in the future and for all who walk this earth among the living. Suffering is something we all have but we have a say in how bad we’re affected by it.

Even as a devoted Christian man I still struggle some days, as we all will. The Devil will always be nipping at your heals hungry to devour you whole. The challenge is to get back up when you fall. The challenge is to have faith beyond our limited sight and trust in the Lord. It’s not easy, but anything worth having is never easy. Find the strength to keep going and pick yourself up every day. I know better then most how hard life can be, but I also know how giving and caring some people can be. I know that when you need it God will provide it to you. You have to have and keep the faith. You can’t give up hope, and in this time of celebration, remember the Savior, our King of the universe is still okay.

Be The Light

Be The Light

Matthew 5:14-16 14 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that[a] they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” On that night so many years ago a baby was born and broke the silence of hundreds of years. God sent a baby boy to bridge the gap between God and Sin. A perfect lamb, an innocent sacrifice with blood shed to may the price for all mankind. In return we are to live according to the commandments laid forth and in turn be the light lit to live in Christ’s image. We will never be Christ, but in our everyday life, in our actions, in our love for one another we should stand out in the crowd as something different, something special.

In this Christmas season shine brightly in the darkness of winter. Be so different from others that people will know you are walking with Christ. John 8:12 Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” In this time of Christmas we have time to rejoice and celebrate the birth of the only reason we have to rejoice. Rejoice by being happy and offer adulation for the prince of peace because He deserves more then we can ever offer.

Hark The Herald Angel Sing

Hark the herald angels sing
“Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled”
Joyful, all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
With the angelic host proclaim:
“Christ is born in Bethlehem”
Hark! The herald angels sing
“Glory to the newborn King!”

 There are so many beautiful songs that we sing during this time of year, but most are just seen in passing. When we look deeper, feel more closely to the words we would find so much truth and joy in it. On the day the child of the King was born the Angels broke heaven and sang praises and joy. Luke 2:13-14 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, 14 “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!” We to must rejoice for the greatest birthday of all eternity.

No matter the dark, dismal, whole you may find yourself, the light will always shine brightly. The Devil will try and try to darken your days. The Devil will pull people away from you. The Devil will hurt you, curse you, and destroy everything you have, all in the attempt to pull you away from Jesus. When we are in our darkest hour we shall fear no evil for the Lord on high is always with us. We must have and keep the faith that in all things, good and bad, big and small, God is in control and his plans for us are beautiful, not ugly. So Merry Christmas and above all Happy Birthday to the savior of our lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Am One With The Force, The Force Is With Me

I Am One With The Force, The Force Is With Me

Being a child of the King I know where my worth is. Knowing I belong to God sets me free in so many ways from the bonds of darkness I once lived in. Being a child of the King gives us forever hope. No matter what happens to us in this life we will always have eternal salvation in the end. Romans 8:31 “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” No matter how bad things seem to be we have hope. Psalm 71:14 “But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more.”

The Devil will try again and again to break you, and to bring you to your knees in defeat. The Devil wants us to fail, he wants us to step away from God, to blame Him for our sorrow. The Devil will try and sway us, to persuade us that the darkness is better then the light. The Devil wants to try and hide in the shadows, that our sin if no one knows is okay, and it’s better to indulge and be free of worry. That’s when you look at the Devil and respond “Every word that you just said – is wrong.” (Luke Skywalker) We have to have faith in the Lord. We have to have faith the lure of the Dark Side is not stronger, that we can overcome the pull and remain in the light. Ephesians 6:13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.”

IMG_6676

As long as God is with me, I know I am one with the force for good. I cannot be defeated so long as I keep God in my heart. When you feel as if you’re about to crumble under the pressures of this world close your eyes, take a deep breath and feel the light of the world inside you. Feel it flowing through you. The Holy Spirit is all around us, it is inside of us, and when you open yourself to it, it can help guide you through any struggle you may encounter. There is no greater force in this universe, but the force and power of Christ. I know I am one with the force, and the force is with me.