The Journey With PTSD:

To whom it may concern: 

There’s no Purple Heart for combat related PTSD. Even if the wounds aren’t physical, PTSD is just as real, and sometimes the emotional and psychological trauma is more detrimental than a physical injury. Physical injuries can and do leave a lasting impact but the psychological ones can often be much harder to face, and live with. It changes the way we look at the world. It changes the way we live in the world. PTSD is often a cage we cannot escape from. We’ve all heard the phrase “not all wounds are visible.” As someone who’s faced the demons inside, and still do, the path, the journey is an up the mountain trek. We carry on our packs the rucksack of memories and feelings. The ruck carries every emotion, feeling, viewpoints, experiences and memories. It carries all the good and the bad. Every little thing we experience is a rock we pick up and put in our bag. It creates stress on the body that can be debilitating. In my time of recovery I learned slowly, how to put down the rocks I didn’t need. I learned how to lighten my load. Every therapy gave me new tools, and new techniques to cope with life of the present and the past. I learned how to take each rock and extract only what I needed to make me better, and I left the rest of the rocks on the mountain side. Much like the sword of Griffendor only taking in which makes it stronger. There are times I became over-encumbered and overwhelmed, I had to take time, make camp  and go through the rocks again. Recently I was faced with an external obstacle that led me to an internal battle, one in which I found myself facing self doubt, anger, disappointment, hurt, and determination. It’s important to evaluate yourself with grace, but objectively and fairly. In order for us to grow we must accept any grains of truth that come from others, even the ones that may hurt our feelings. If there’s any truth we should not shy away from the truth, merely address the things within ourselves that may be shortcomings. We always have an opportunity to make ourselves better. At the same time, we must accept that, not everything said by someone is in fact the truth. Walking up the side of the mountain gives us plenty of opportunity to see the beauty and wonder of Gods creation. Creation cries out as evidence of an intelligent creator. We must enjoy this beautiful planet our Lord has made for us. We must see the wonder of it and see the good that’s all around us. We do face battles along the way, other travelers, weather, creatures, all manner of obstacles and challenges get out in front of us. PTSD is a lasting injury that stays with us forever. While you can heal and manage symptoms, the damage to the brain isn’t always repairable. We must learn how to live life again. Even though people around us don’t always understand, there are those who do. Sadly there’s no Purple Heart for the damage done to the brain, but regardless, we don’t suffer alone. We are the warrior. We are the Soldier, Marine, Airmen, Seamen, (spacemen?), coastguard. We may be different branches but we are all one family. If you feel alone, you aren’t. There are plenty of organizations, and resources to help those service members in need. My pack is lighter now than it’s ever been. I still carry the memories and the pain, but it no longer controls my day to day life. Once in a while, sometimes triggered, sometimes random, I have moments when my PTSD rears up and knocks me down. I have learned how to manage these intrusions, the intrusive thoughts, the debilitating feelings. It isn’t always an easy fight, but I know tomorrow is a new opportunity to get back onto the trail, and continue mission. I’ve regained my sense of self, and I’ve grown in confidence that I can face today, and face tomorrow, whatever battle may be lurking over the next horizon, I’m ready! I’m a soldier and I always will be. Never out of the fight. Hooah. 

For the choir director. A Psalm of the sons of Korah, set to Alamoth. A Song.
God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
— Psalm 46:1

“The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace,
Because he trusts in You.
“Trust in the LORD forever,
For in GOD the LORD, we have an everlasting Rock.
— Isaiah 26:3-4

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
— Philippians 4:6-7

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
— Philippians 4:6-7

Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
— Philippians 4:11-13

Sincerely 

Specialist: Arrow Preacher 

Cavalry Scout

Iraq 2004/2005