Lamentations 

I cannot think of the words to describe how I feel today. The disappointment, the discouraged, and defeated me, wants to drop to my knees and scream. The tears fallen today staining my shirt, and the thoughts that have flown with them, equally filled with the salty pain within an open wound. I am not the first to weep in the night, and I shall not be the last. Lord hears my cries, and some day I shall be restored. Some day I will live in the light, and not within this broken body. Someday I will be remade, perfect in my glorified body, no longer broken, no longer in pain, no longer suffering in the weakness of this frail flesh. That day may not come tomorrow, or in the coming years, but I am left with hope as Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior. We are given these ailments for a reason, and though I like Paul have asked the Lord to remove this thorn in my flesh, I remain with it. As the prophets cried out in the night, I too have hope, hope in tomorrow. 

Lamentations 2: 22-24

22 Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,

Because His compassions fail not.

23 They are new every morning;

Great is Your faithfulness.

24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,

“Therefore I hope in Him!”

My heart breaks, but Jesus restores. My cheeks drip with the tears falling, but Jesus counts each of them. It is not his will that I will be healed, and for that, I am trusting in his sovereignty, and I trust in his ways. The Lords ways are not my own, and as those have fallen asleep before me, and for what seemed before their time, know that all things happen within his time. All things happen according to his will. All things happen as he ordains. We take our tears to the Lord, and we cry to him, and he hears us. He knows us. He understands us. He sees us, more so than we could ever know. We do not know tomorrow, but Jesus is there. We do not face tomorrow alone. The tears fall and they fall, and the anger swells within. All I want to do is scream, and cry, and he hears and sees me, and in him, I have hope. I have hope because he raised the dead. I have hope because he made dead men walk, and not just those who had passed, but the resurrection of those dead in their sins. I have nothing to fear, for death did not hold him, and in his blood it shall not hold me. His love for me and sacrifice for me covers me, and gives me hope that this is not my best life now, but rather tomorrow with him in the sun. I shall walk with him in the streets of Gold. Peace…. Oh the peace sounds wonderful.