Tipping Point

How long will you travel down the road you’re on before you make a change in your life? Will you wait until you don’t have any other option? Sadly most people will refuse to change until the choice is no longer theirs to make. It seems the path towards self-destruction is a path that must run its course. Sadly I have watched people I’ve cared about hop on that train, and no matter what anyone did they had to ride along till it hit the brick wall, or as most people call it, hitting rock bottom.

What is it about that course that so many fall prey too? The human mind is a tricky thing, and when we truly take some time to think about it, why would anyone stay on such a self-destructive path? I think the answer is simple, and yet complicated at the same time. The simple answer is of coursesin, but the difficult answer is the complexity of the human brain. I think there’s something that happens inside the human brain that gets confused. Take a bad relationship for example. The whole world might realize a relationship is bad news, but the one person who doesn’t is the person in the middle of it. There can be emotional abuse, an over controlling element, or even physical abuse, and yet someone will stay in that situation till, they hit rock bottom. Much of that has to do with self-esteem, a notion of worthlessness, and an idea that no one else could ever love them, so it’s better to be mistreated by someone who ‘loves me’ than to be alone. Then there’s the alcoholic, substance abuse addicts, and workaholics who drive themselves towards destruction and rarely turn their own train before it smashes into the wall.

What can we do though, for those people who seem to be on those trains? Sadly the answer is not much, and any intervention may be a dangerous idea for the relationship. People often lash out when an intervention is staged. Admitting there’s a problem is incredibly difficult and always the first step to any real change. Every 12 step program is laid out very similar, and the first step is always the same.

1. Admitting powerlessness over the addiction
2. Believing that a higher power (in whatever form) can help
3. Deciding to turn control over to the higher power
4. Taking a personal inventory
5. Admitting to the higher power, oneself, and another person the wrongs done
6. Being ready to have the higher power correct any shortcomings in one’s character
7. Asking the higher power to remove those shortcomings
8. Making a list of wrongs done to others and being willing to make amends for those wrongs
9. Contacting those who have been hurt, unless doing so would harm the person
10. Continuing to take personal inventory and admitting when one is wrong
11. Seeking enlightenment and connection with the higher power via prayer and meditation
12. Carrying the message of the 12 Steps to others in need

 

While the 12 steps list a higher power, we as Christians must remember that it is God, Jesus Christ that can help us. No matter what situation you find yourself in, there are a few things that need to be mentioned. First, the creator of the universe loves you. Jesus Christ died for you, and you are special to Him. Second, you do not have to stay on the road you’re on. There is always help out there and all you have to do is ask for it. However, you must be willing to hear the truth, and face the challenge of making the change, which of course will not be easy. Third, you must trust that God can work out any bad situation, and there is something good to be taken from it. No matter the horrible things you’ve experienced in your life, i.e. rape, abuse (physical or emotional), loss, health issues, addictions, etc.) no matter what it is, there is something to be gained for it, and used in a positive way. Fourth, GOD DID NOT CAUSE YOUR SUFFERING, I cannot understate this. God is not in the habit of causing suffering in our lives. We must understand the nature of a sinful world, and a world endowed with free will. People choose to act how they want to. People choose to prey on the weak, to take other peoples power for their own. People choose to give in to the sin nature of this world. People choose to allow addictions to take hold by starting in the first place. People choose to rape, to abuse, to control, because it masks their own insecurities, and they themselves are not following Christ. We often want to blame God, instead of blaming the Devil. We want to ask God why He didn’t save us, and the truth is, he probably tried. We expect God to send us a miraculous intervention, where the truth is, there were probably people there who would have been willing to help, and maybe even tried to help. The problem is, sometimes we slap away the hands that try to help us.

It’s said we as people don’t truly change till we reach the precipice, the bottom of the barrel, the brick wall, but the truth is, you don’t have to wait that long. Addiction can be anything to include staying in bad abusive relationships, but there is hope. 1 Corinthians 10:13-14 (NKJV)13 “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. 14 Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.” When we put anything before God that is our idol, and we are in essence worshiping that in which stands between God and us. If it’s work, or a substance, video games, whatever you can fill in the blank that takes the majority of your focus, there’s a time to walk away. Change is possible any time, anywhere, but YOU have to be willing to make that step towards change.

I have lost two wives to adultery and I remember asking what I had done to deserve it. I asked God why I was being punished, and what I didn’t realize at the time was it wasn’t God, no, it was Satan that had intervened in my life and brought destruction upon my home. 1 John 2:16 (NKJV)16 “For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.” Every day people endure hardships, and they endure the pain of this life, and every day people cry out to the Father and ask what they have done, why did they deserve such horrible things, but the fact is, it’s a sinful world, and there will be troubles. God does not force people into His will and in turn God does not force people to sin. God did not force sin upon this world, but people choose to sin. As scripture says, God will ALWAYS give you a way out. It may not be easy, but God isn’t in the business of making life easy, but it is always what is right. “Dark times lie ahead of us and there will be a time when we must choose between what is easy and what is right.”(Albus Dumbledore)

If you’re in a position you want to change, or need to change, ask yourself, have you been talking to God about it? Has an opportunity to change been presented to you but you’ve not taken it? Is the situation truly bad, or is it that you’re just not happy? Are you putting your attention to objects, substances or people? No matter what’s going on in your life there is always hope in Christ. Remember that as you might have fallen victim at the hands of others, remember it’s free will that causes so much pain. The same free will that causes you pain, is also the same free will that allows you to walk away and turn to God. 1 Corinthians 6:12“All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.” Don’t give away the power God has given to you. Don’t allow other people to take your happiness from you. When you trust in God you are given joy, and nothing can steal away your Joy. If you are in an abusive relationship, get help. If you are addicted to (blank) get help. Don’t walk through this life living in misery, there’s help out there for you. Be willing to make the hard decision for the hard change, but always turn to God for guidance. God will hear you, and God will answer you, so keep an eye open for it, and listen to the Holy Spirit guiding you. Have faith and don’t forget to love first, love God.