God Never Fails

We may fault and even break in our lives. We may fall to anger and we let our own fears dictate and rule over our emotions.

I can remember a time in my life when I was so angry with God. I fully believed that God was cruel, and mean, and vengeful. I felt that my suffering was because God sat back and did nothing while my tears and blood stained the ground. I let my fear turn to anger and anger clouds judgment. I was terrified and even though my feelings fit the facts, I didn’t cope very well. I forgot one major part of following Christ, having the trust that we’d never be left alone. I forgot to have faith and know that I didn’t cause what happened to me, and neither did God. People are sinful and make their own choices. People choose to walk along the dark path away from God. Sadly by the time I realized where I had gone wrong I was laying on the ground bleeding out.

We all have choices in our lives and sometimes our emotion mind is in full gear and nothing else seems relevant. The actions that come from full-blown emotion mind can be wonderful, but also disastrous. The years come and go and the debris still litters the ground with the destructive hurricane force of stupid decisions.  One feeling that has remained is that of weakness. When the pain and fear take over and decisions are made from EM, even as rare as that might be, I often find myself feeling weak. I don’t usually have a problem with temptations, but feelings of worthlessness, grief, regret, those are my biggest enemies apart from a constant feeling of loneliness. I know 2 Corinthians12:9  “He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Despite knowing what scripture says, it’s hard to fill my heart with it to the point where something fundamentally changes. Reality is much harder then I personally think it should be.

When my ex wife had an affair I stayed loyal to her. I stood by her side when another man was brought to the house. I stood by her side when I was placed in jail over something that was a lie. All of which I was exonerated, but the point was I stood by her side. People often asked me why I continued to be there for her despite the things she would do. I often placed myself in Gods shoes and I thought about all the times we let down God. All the chances we are given to right wrongs, and while God can see our hearts, I had to trust that in time my ex wife would one day come around. Two years later today, we are now divorced but we hold a friendship. I don’t necessarily agree with the path she’s taken, but she seems happy. Faith is the key, faith that people can change, and I know that one day my view of myself will change and I will see what God sees in me. It isn’t likely to be an easy path, but one I gladly take. When I stop placing my sense of value based on other people’s opinions of me, I know that I will believe in myself more.

Living in love every day isn’t easy when I don’t always feel that love. Facing rejections every day but learning to take them in stride is all part of the healing process. Joy comes from God and it’s important to remember salvation cannot be bought, it cannot be bribed, it can not be swindled, because it comes from the ransom Christ paid for our sins as he himself took on the wrath of the Father so we wouldn’t have to. No matter the path you’ve chosen in the past, the path before you, is your choice to walk or not. At any time you can choose to be different, you can choose to let Jesus Christ in your heart and become a new creation washed by the Holy Spirit. You can watch as your old self is burned away and what’s left is the Diamond built by God. You are Gods child and therefore royalty to inherit a place in Heaven for all eternity. Knowing this life is short but necessary, we can remind ourselves what’s important and continue to refocus our hearts to do Gods will, to bring Glory to the name of Jesus Christ and forever sing praises to our savior and our Heavenly Father.