The consideration of others (or lack thereof)

For years I’ve spent a lifetime picking people up, being there for them when they’ve lost all hope, when their lives have crumbled around them and for my troubles when my life crumbles and I am without hope without sight, without direction no one is there to help me. The people that I’ve just helped lift and guide and been a shoulder to cry on grab the rope behind them leaving me on a precipice by myself. I find myself now at a crossroad in my life where I have to choose which road to take. One path leading me to a path of solitude of riding myself of all negative people, riding myself of people who are selfish and careless and have no regard for common decency this day in age. The other path to remain the way I’ve been helping people left and right with very little process of who is worth my time and who is not. While in my heart I feel it is not my place to judge someone and that my heart should be open to help everyone but now as I’ve gone a year and a half where I have been hurt time and time again by people that I have let into my life. I have trusted and when things got hard or difficult or convenient I was simply tossed aside like an old used up towel. At some point I must learn not to get attached, not to allow people into my heart without being properly vetted. Again at the crossroad how do I find people who actually care, who actually see the repercussions of their actions and actually understand how their actions may negatively affect someone else and then on the other hand if I remove myself from being able to find people how do I actually make those connections with people and actually find a potential beautiful friendship, or more important a long lasting relationship. In my heart I realize that at some point I need to relinquish the judgment and allow God to be the judge of someone’s actions but at the same time the loneliness I feel within my heart prevents me from being able to walk away from humanity and I force myself to walk through the thickets and thorns hoping to find the rose mixed in.

It seems in today’s world where all communication is done via text messages sometimes over the phone with little to no face-to-face interaction the consequences are no longer real. The consequences of deciding a friendship deciding someone’s fate is simply the push of a few buttons and you relinquish them from your life. You block them from your life is now so easy to end friendships without ever having to see face-to-face the applications or the hurt left behind by someone’s callus actions. It’s almost as if the person you’ve been talking to isn’t really a person at all so there’s no reason to treat them as such. There’s no reason to understand that your actions may actually hurt their feelings. More so if you get to the point where it doesn’t bother you to just shut somebody off, it doesn’t bother you to tell someone you care about them and that it is so easy for you to flip the switch. That tells me that our society has become more of a selfish society about what feels good in the now, but when things get hard it’s no longer about what is right it’s about what continues to feel good. Anything that doesn’t feel good in your life again leaving is a selfish society with no reasonable repercussions for her actions.

It’s hard not to let your heart harden, and to continue to walk through life with love in your heart. It’s difficult to continue loving when you suffer so much. It’s difficult to stay hopeful when you get stuck on a ledge all by yourself. With so little thought towards others, breaking hearts, destroying feelings, what hope is left? The hope we have is the hope that Jesus has given us. We hope for the best because the love of Jesus for us is nothing less then salvation. We are promised eternal love, and we are promised the end of hardships, but not during our lifetime. Revelation 21:4 ⁴ He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” When the time is right this life shall pass away, and heaven will be ours when we accept Christ. No matter the hardships we may face, we are to continue to love, and forgive. Guard your heart from the serpent that will try to invade and spread the darkness within. Don’t allow your heart to harden and take away the light of the world.